Are you getting in your own way of happiness?
It’s so easy to get caught up in the day-to-day frenzy of just being human. From the moment the alarm sounds, we’re often on a race to hurry up and get to a desk where we can stop for a few minutes and then hurry up and get on the phone, to a meeting, across town to the bank, stop by the post office, pick up the kids, bathe the dog, hurry back home to be sure we’re in the kitchen so we can hurry up and get dinner on the table and sit for a few minutes before hurrying up to binge-watch the new series and finally, hurry to bed so we can start it all over again the next day.
Somewhere, along the way, we pass ourselves. Some part of us is looking out the window. Or noticing how the light is bouncing off the leaves as the season changes. Or remembering how glorious it felt to hike that trail on a cool fall morning or run through leaves giggling.
But we don’t have time to stop. And oddly, that’s a comforting thing.
We have our duties. Our roles. Our safe little worlds with no surprises. Even though sometimes, it feels like the walls are about 3 inches away, and getting closer.
So that soon, our world is very, very small. And that candle inside us that used to shine so brightly and lead our way when we were first dreaming of what our lives can be…that candle is struggling to stay lit. It’s an inertia that slowly creeps through your bloodstream like a silent snake…robbing you of your curiosity. Your desire to know more, to explore unknown places and have adventures. Little by little, it seeps your energy. Like the death eaters in the Harry Potter stories it seems to hover overhead and suck the very life out of you.
A beautiful essay on the OnBeing Studios blog, “Beyond The Myths We Tell Ourselves, Big Love is Waiting” offers some wonderful insight. (OnBeing is an amazing multimedia project featuring a nationally broadcast public radio show, a portfolio of podcasts, and a digital publishing platform reaching millions of people each week.) Author Ali Schultz reminds us we are “not Atlas supporting the world; the world is supporting us.”
Schultz goes on to say:
“When I step out from the house of cards I’ve built for myself, I feel love. Big love.The clear path to such love requires excavation. We must, as Rumi notes, remove all of the blocks we’ve placed in our way to keep us from it. Somehow, somewhere, in all of our evolutionary neurological wiring, our wires have crossed so that we fearing being loved more than being safe, small, sure, busy, and turning away from the big open arms of life. We think we’ve got it all figured out. While our gifts for self-preservation and survival are strong, all we’ve figured out, really, is how to make sense of the world into which we were thrust, or find ourselves. Great skills, no doubt. But if we rely on them solely, we guard ourselves from another way of being with the world.”
“The big open arms of life.” What a wonderful image. So why are we so afraid to let go….to give up the control we mistakenly believe we have, and just let the energy and inspiration around us fill us?
Is that we don’t think we’re worthy? Or that we can’t remember how to find that energy? Are we giving into society’s obsession with youth and forgetting that we, baby boomers, anyone over 50, are the ones best equipped to recognize just what the universe can do for us…and know we have had it inside us all along?
More words from Ali Schultz:
“Perhaps the biggest form of self-denial is turning away from the grace that’s always there for us, right now here in the present, and has been with us throughout the arc of our history. Without a story to perpetuate or mental mazes to get lost in, you stop perpetuating the story, the delusion, that you’re alone holding it all together yourself. And, then, you can feel life rush in and join you in conversation. When you open to the world, big love is waiting for you.”
But you know what?
What’s scary can also be liberating. Exhilarating. It can lift you up like a cool autumn breeze invites an eagle to soar to newer heights.
Maybe we can each stop carrying our world, give our backs a rest, and wait for the world to rush in. What a delightful thought that is.
“That is the mystery of grace: it never comes too late.