Sam Elliott Archives %- – Rock The Wrinkle

I saw The Hero this weekend, a new movie starring Sam Elliott. That’s probably enough said, as Sam Elliott is one of my favorites, and not just for the obvious physical appeal. It goes a lot deeper, as each of his many roles has demonstrated, but none more than this one. Especially for boomers and beyond, this one resonates deep.

Without giving away spoilers that aren’t already in the movie’s trailer, Sam plays a veteran actor of western genre movies who gets some bad news about his health. Understandably, he begins examining his life, attempting to reach out to those he’s loved, trying to rekindle a dwindling career, and frankly just make sense of it all.

Who among us, as we age, hasn’t wondered how we would feel if we got a depressing diagnosis? Maybe some of you already have. Maybe a loved one has. It really simplifies things really fast.

Watching the movie, I was struck by many things.

How fast your life goes by.

How suddenly you walk into a room and you are the oldest and often by many years.

How simple things are now harder, not matter how in shape you are or how many crossword puzzles you do.

How the mirror isn’t your friend anymore.

Dang but inside, you’re about 45. Ready to chart a new course. Start a new love affair. Travel the world.

But first, maybe just sit down and take a breath. Or even a nap.

Sam shows every emotion in this film. Fear, tenderness, embarrassment, frustration, anger, resolution. A lifetime. He feels he’s only done one good thing in his career. Yet as the film unfolds, it’s clear he’s touched many lives and had an impact he may never fully realize.

I want to think that’s true for each of us. Because aging can feel scary. Lonely. Like your once ever-expanding world is suddenly getting so much smaller. Your real friends, fewer. Your joyful moments, only now and then. And it’s too easy to think we haven’t amounted to much.

We don’t feel like heroes. But don’t you believe it. We ARE.

We’ve made others smile. Held someone’s hand to cross the street. Taught valuable lessons. Sang over a few hundred birthday cakes. Been there through disasters. Comforted grieving spouses. Helped our children learn patience. Showed what true friendship means. Taken care of our frail parents. Worried over a sickly pet.

We may not feel like our life matters, but maybe that’s the nature of life. To not get to know the ending until afterwards. Like someone who leaves a movie early and misses the gem after the credits.

It’s there. But only for those who are still around.

Our role is to keep going forward.

I suggest you go see The Hero. There’s a scene in the movie that speaks to the idea that everyone is a star, everyone is a hero. That’s something we all can use.

Cause we’re still rockin’ it.

“Promise me you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” – Christopher Robin to Winnie the Pooh

Have you seen the movie “I’ll See You in My Dreams”? Blythe Danner plays a woman of age who fills her days with lunches on the patio, happy hours with friends, a little golf and memories of her early career as a singer. She has been a widow for 20 years and has stayed out of the dating scene…until a friend convinces her to try “speed dating”. I won’t give anything away, but I will say the results are hysterical.

She does later meet always handsome Sam Elliott, also at a point in his life where he’s tired of being alone and “testing the waters”. Again, without revealing any plot points, suffice it to say that meeting him gets her to thinking…is it too late? Is she too entrenched in her daily regimen to welcome in a romantic partner?

Is what she had so many years ago enough for a lifetime…or is it ever enough?

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I enjoyed this movie for many reasons. Blythe Danner is such a talented, glowing woman whose natural beauty shines through her wrinkles. Sam Elliott is fully white-headed and also just who he is. They don’t play games. Or try to look 30. Or immediately grab on to one another because the hourglass is emptying. I think they just meet where they are.

And I think they can do that because they are older.

it’s Nature’s last laugh it seems. When we’re young and smooth-skinned and non-bald and no stomach, we attract a lot of other attractive young bodies. But our minds can’t quite catch up sometimes. And then when our minds have figured out what truly matters and what doesn’t, we don’t feel attractive because our jeans don’t fit anymore and we need glasses and it’s a little harder to last on the dance floor.

Fear can grip us.

Do I want to try again?

Will my heart get broken?

Will he/she leave me for someone younger?

Do I have the emotional energy to date again?

Will my children accept someone new in my life?

And then the whole online thing. So many people are doing that. Some have success, others find frustration…it somehow seems backwards to trade applications and match your strong points…before ever meeting to see if that spark is there. But in today’s world, meeting people—especially after age 50—is like searching for a mouse in a cornfield. You know he/she might be out there, but you have no idea if you’ll ever cross their path.

And speed dating? Wow. They say we decide in the first 30 seconds or so whether we want to see someone again. But gosh…I fear I’d drop my index cards with my carefully written opening lines, knock over the water glass, and somehow impale myself with a fork…before I even got a word out.

Imagine who that might attract.

It’s a minefield. It brings us all, no matter our age, back to our most basic vulnerabilities. Yet in some ways, it can be easier. If we stay authentic. If we allow the other person to be the age (legs, eyes, stomach, hair/no hair) they really are. If we remember what matters most.

If we can laugh together.

And if we can just enjoy now. What do you think?