Tag: wisdom (Page 1 of 2)

Voices of wisdom.

06/10/2019 / Laura

So many times when we talk about aging, we focus on the challenges, the inconveniences, the frustrations one can feel when the spirit is willing but the body may be growing weak. But what about the joys, the renewed insights and wisdom, the freedom that comes as we transition into the person we were always meant to be?

Take a listen to these great minds and how they have recognized the gifts of growing older…

“There is a gravitas in the second half of life, but it is now held up by a much deeper lightness, or “okayness.” … there is still darkness in the second half of life—in fact, maybe even more. But there is now a changed capacity to hold it creatively and with much less anxiety…. In this second half of life, one has less and less need or interest in eliminating the negative or fearful, making again those old rash judgments, holding on to old hurts, or feeling any need to punish other people…. Richard Rohr, Falling Upward

“I have found it very important in my own life to try to let go of my wishes and instead to live in hope. I am finding that when I choose to let go of my sometimes petty and superficial wishes and trust that my life is precious and meaningful in the eyes of God something really new, something beyond my own expectations begins to happen for me.” Henri Nouwen, Finding My Way Home

“As I get older, the more I stay focused on the acceptance of myself and others, and choose compassion over judgment and curiosity over fear.” Tracee Ellis Ross

“When we let go of our battles and open our heart to things as they are, then we come to rest in the present moment. This is the beginning and the end of spiritual practice. Only in this moment can we discover that which is timeless. Only here can we find the love that we seek. Love in the past is simply memory, and love in the future is fantasy. Only in the reality of the present can we love, can we awaken, can we find peace and understanding and connection with ourselves and the world.” Jack Kornfield, A Path With Heart

“Age has given me what I was looking for my entire life – it has given me me . It has provided time and experience and failures and triumphs and time-tested friends who have helped me step into the shape that was waiting for me. I fit into me now. I have an organic life, finally, not necessarily the one people imagined for me, or tried to get me to have. I have the life I longed for. I have become the woman I hardly dared imagine I would be.” Anne Lamott, Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith

It’s good to know we are not alone on this journey. It’s refreshing to know that we are still growing, still learning, still evolving…that new adventures await us and that all around us, there is energy and inspiration waiting to be tapped that can take us to places we never imagined.

And the best part: we get to do this now, wrinkles and all, because we couldn’t have done it before. Where are you on your journey? Are there lessons you’re just now learning that are giving you a whole new perspective?

Wherever you are, it’s the right place. And it’s only the beginning.

“Listen to the song of life.” Katherine Hepburn

Sand in the Vaseline

06/19/2018 / Laura

As we age, we’re supposed to grow wiser. That’s what we always heard would be the reward, that we would know more, have more experiences to draw from, and maybe even have more patience with the little things because we’d seen it all. So in theory, we would not get as upset about things or at least, we would let the little things upset us as much.

That’s the theory. I’m still waiting on that to kick in.

Granted, there are a lot of things I don’t worry about anymore, which is a very good thing. I attempt an acceptable level of hygiene, but I don’t get too wound up about a wrinkled pair of jeans or the different shades of skin that cover my legs. I actually have moments in the car when the tailgating hot rod behind me doesn’t send me into fits of bad language. I can let it go when I have to step over a present a neighbor’s pet left for me. Okay. That’s all quite evolved.

But I’m finding that other things really are like sand in the vaseline. Irritants that my soul just can’t abide. And maybe surprisingly, it’s directed quite often at other baby boomers and beyond. Because surely they should know better!

For example, I don’t understand:

• How can you still think you are better than someone else, just because you happen to be born a certain color?

• How can you still make inappropriate jokes that demean other human beings? Or let your friends do the same and not say something?

• How can it be okay with you to attend church each Sunday and then give your allegiance to a politician who advocates lies, sexual misconduct, hatred, greed and disregard for people whose profession is checking on the government and reporting the truth back to the people?

• How can you visit a beautiful, pristine wilderness area and toss your garbage out the car window, leave your campfire smoldering in a fire danger zone, blast your iPod on trail, and honk at a fawn that isn’t crossing the road fast enough for you?

• How can you think cheating someone else is okay, whether it’s through cheap tipping, cutting them off in line, or not letting them into your club/neighborhood/place of worship/swimming pool?

I just don’t understand. We’re older. We’ve lived. We’ve been hurt. We’ve learned how hard life can be sometimes. How fragile we all are, and how we have no idea if the person next to us is dealing with a disease, a major loss, fears or worse. And since we don’t know, we should know by now to err on the side of kindness.

Because we know how easily that person could be us.

These things irritate me, I admit it. Which I don’t think is a bad thing, because the day they stop bothering me, i will know that I have really checked out on the world.

I know there are those who will say well it doesn’t really matter, as long as you don’t actually hurt someone, you can do or say what you please. I disagree. I think you are hurting someone. I believe that principle that the ripple of a butterfly’s wings really does eventually reach the rainforest.

And I think we who are showing some gray have a responsibility to add some gentility to the universe. Not just for each other, but for ourselves as well. According to Random Acts of Kindness:

“Witnessing acts of kindness produces oxytocin, occasionally referred to as the ‘love hormone’ which aids in lowering blood pressure and improving our overall heart-health. Oxytocin also increases our self-esteem and optimism, which is extra helpful when we’re in anxious or shy in a social situation….According to research from Emory University, when you are kind to another person, your brain’s pleasure and reward centers light up, as if you were the recipient of the good deed—not the giver. This phenomenon is called the “helper’s high…. Like most medical antidepressants, kindness stimulates the production of serotonin. This feel-good chemical heals your wounds, calms you down, and makes you happy!”

Of course the irony is that I’m getting irritated at how hateful other people are. So I need to chill, right? Like I said, I’m trying. But I’m also hoping maybe others will stop a minute to think about the impact they are having on younger people. The example they are setting for their grandchildren. And how they are affecting their own health.

Wisdom is a gift. Let’s use it for the greater good. And maybe all of us can see in each other a soul that has walked a journey we can’t imagine, but we can respect.

Life is short.

And maybe if we stop clenching our fists and holding on so tight, we can receive even more. It’s way past time to worry about what the “other guy” is getting that we didn’t. That’s kinda what progress is all about it, right? That the next generation has it a bit easier? And for sure, that next generation isn’t going to look exactly like us. I’m all for that.

Just some things to think about. I’m going to work harder myself, especially when the internet goes out again.

Breathe. Just breathe. It’s worked before. I have a lot of practice at it.

“It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.”

Henry David Thoreau

A little wisdom please.

06/06/2016 / Laura

If you’re a boomer and beyond, you’ve learned a lot in your life. I hope you are still learning. None of us knows everything, has been everywhere, or experienced everything. We’re babes in the woods for sure. Yet for the most part, we are now wise enough to understand that, and admit we know more than we used to, but not all we should.

So in the spirit of how age can be a great teacher, I implore you: share your smarts. Be wise around younger people. Don’t fall prey to all the crazy, ignorant, harmful rhetoric that’s out there right now.

Seriously. Things are ugly. Insults are flying and forth. Violence erupts without warming on the highways. People are shunning neighbors and relatives because their beliefs are so far apart.

Let’s not fuel it any further.

Instead, let’s step back. Breathe. Meditate. Take a walk. Let a moment pass without making it worse.

We can disagree. We can decry what’s become of our political landscape. We can engage in spirited debate.

But let’s stop the hate. It’s not helping. And it’s a bad lesson to be passing on to the younger generations.

Your opinions on this message are welcome. Maybe you have some thoughts on how to calm things down a bit.

Remember The Youngbloods? Then you’ll remember this song….

Get Together

Love is but a song we sing

Fear’s the way we die
You can make the mountains ring
Or make the angels cry
Though the bird is on the wing
And you may not know why

Come on, people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another right now

Some may come and some may go
He will surely pass
When the one that left us here
Returns for us at last
We are but a moment’s sunlight
Fading in the grass

Come on, people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another right now

Come on, people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another right now

If you hear the song I sing
You will understand, listen
You hold the key to love and fear
All in your trembling hand
Just one key unlocks them both
It’s there at your command

Come on, people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another right now

I said come on, people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another right now
Right now
Right now

What do you say? Let’s give it a shot.

“For every moment you are angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Maybe we’re okay as is.

04/04/2016 / Laura

It’s the start of the week, the month, and maybe a brand new season. We can look at it with anticipation and joy, or we can feel overwhelmed and even frightened.

Why can’t we get out of neutral and do the things we keep saying we will do? What if the months pass and we’re still just sitting here? Why does it seem like everyone else is making progress?

But then again, why don’t we boomers and beyond give ourselves a break?

Where is this critical voice coming from—the one that keeps saying we need to improve, to change ourselves, to transform our personalities into a lotus flower?

What if, for a moment, we considered how perfect we really are. What a miracle we are.

That maybe what is inside of us is just okay. That instead of hitting ourselves in the head with a block of wood, we should nurture our inner self and celebrate our spirit?

In other words, lighten up.

I like this notion. I like remembering that spirit made me and spirit lives in me. Way before teachers, preachers, or finger-pointers took hold of me, I existed. I shine. I live, breathe, and love. So maybe I’m just okay—without trying to become someone I was never meant to be.

In her book, “The Wisdom of No Escape”, Pema Chodron touches on these thoughts more than once. Her are just a few excerpts of her words:

“Loving kindness doesn’t mean getting rid of anything….we can still be crazy after all these years. We can still be angry after all these years. We can still be timid or jealous or full of feelings of unworthiness. The point is not to try to change our selves. Mediation practice isn’t about throwing ourselves away and becoming something better. It’s about befriending who we are already…if you throw out your neurosis, you also throw out your wisdom. Someone who is very angry also has a lot of energy; that energy is what’s so juicy about him or her…the idea isn’t to try to get rid of your anger, but to make friends with it, to see it clearly with precision and honesty, and also see it with gentleness….”

See it with gentleness. What a nice thought! Turn off the voices that tell you it’s time to develop a new personality. Put down the whip. Think soft instead.

Pema also says:

“Life’s work is to wake up, to let the things that enter into the circle wake you rather than put you to sleep. The only way to do this is to open, be cautious, and develop some sense of sympathy for everything that comes along, to get to know its nature and let it teach you what it will. It’s going to stick around until you learn your lesson, at any rate. The journey of awakening—the classical journey of the mythical hero or heroine—is one of continually coming up against big challenges and then learning how to soften and open.”

We’ve earned a little softness. We’ve endured a lifetime of struggle, pain, happiness, sadness, and just about everything else. So does it really make sense to think we’re doing it all wrong? I don’t think so.