Author: Laura (Page 3 of 54)

Of Sports Illustrated.

And she’s 81.

And she’s in a bathing suit.

Some are shocked. Others are thrilled.

After all, she’s “too old,” right? (Not that you’d hear that if it were a former James Bond.)

But a woman? An older woman?

Getting past all the gossip, it’s interesting to stop and consider just what people 80 and over are doing these days. The ones who aren’t making the evening news. The ones who are still working.

Taking care of grandbabies. Volunteering. Cooking meals for their adult children. Dressing, bathing, and caring full-time for a spouse with Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s disease.

In other words, rockin’ it because that’s what they must do. And what in many cases, they choose to do.

Because inside, they’re still 30. Maybe 35. They look out of their eyes and still see possibilities. They still listen to their favorite music, whether it’s rock, opera, or Native American.  Maybe they’ve turned own the volume a bit, but then again, maybe they haven’t.

Let the neighbors complain. They probably don’t think an 80-year-old turns anything up that loud.

Because unfortunately, 80+ people are often invisible. Unnoticed. Ignored. Assumptions are made about them that are far from accurate. That they can’t run in marathons anymore. That they can’t learn new hobbies or skills. That they don’t understand how to use a computer or program their home security.

That they didn’t get the joke or understand the reference. How wrong these assumptions are.

At a time when more and more younger people are refusing to work, older people are out there doing it. Almost 9 percent of Americans over 75 are working—and it’s expected to be the fastest growing segment of the working population in the future.  Approximately 6% of those over 80 are working.

Try telling them they are too old. (Duck first.)

Our brains don’t stop working as we age (unless cognitive decline occurs, which can happen to people of all ages). We don’t lose our sense of fun. We don’t forget how good it feels to jump into a swimming pool. Or hike a mountain trail. Or go on a date with someone we really like.

So let’s remind ourselves we are still part of the conversation, whether we are 55, 75, 85, 95 or better. And let’s lift up those brave enough to celebrate their wisdom and well-earned wrinkles. They’re rockin it.

So should we.

“The longer I live, the more beautiful life becomes.” – Frank Lloyd Wright

Things not to do when talking to an older person. Particularly if the older person is your customer.

• Ignore them.
• Talk over their words. (Instead, shut up and listen.)
• Disrespect them. (See above.)
• Immediately tell them that you aren’t to blame for anything.
• Assume it’s their fault, and it’s because they are older.

See kids, the customer is the CUSTOMER. The customer is the reason you have a  job. The customer may not always be right, but at least for the first few moments, assume they are. If they are having a problem, complaining, or just venting, listen to them. That means SHUT UP.

Why?

 Because they are THE CUSTOMER. 

• 

Not sure when the lesson of courtesy and respect got dropped from the curriculum, but it seems it did. Not sure where this crop of disinterested, rude and totally clueless “customer service” staff came from, but there are here.

And they aren’t going anywhere.

Sure, an older person can just smile and take it. But excuse me, why should we? Would a younger person remain silent while an older salesperson, clerk, or receptionist acted like they were doing them a favor by even acknowledging their presence? 

Not likely.

When in doubt, always be kind. Absolutely. And guess what:  when you’re talking to a customer, be EXTRA kind. Because they may not come back. And if enough of them don’t come back, guess what? 

You’re out of a job. Which maybe you don’t care about. At least that’s what it looks like.

The ironic part is if more people had a good old-fashioned (yep) work ethic, their jobs would actually be fun. Or at least pleasant. They might discover that doing something well feels good. Helping a person gives them satisfaction. There are actual physical health benefits to being of service to someone.

Sighing heavily, not making eye contact, and turning off your brain isn’t good for you. Trust me.

It’s not helping.

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. Aesop

They say we are all just walking each other home.

It’s a comforting thought, until someone gets there before you do…and you wish they were still walking by your side.

I just lost a dear friend. She was truly a unique light in the world. a bright, happy person overflowing generosity for others. Ready to serve when needed. There to listen when needed. And a great giggler on the back row of church.

Maybe most telling of all, she was a magnet for animals. Cats in her neighborhood who had been cast aside found their way to her house. Her dogs were truly the luckiest canines. She adored my dog, who loved her back.

• 

It tells you a lot about a person when they are able to connect so easily with the natural world.

It’s hard enough to lose a good friend. It’s even harder to watch them go through dementia for years. She was diagnosed with early Alzheimer’s 7 years ago. She knew what was coming. And while she certainly had her moments of fear and tears, she turned her worry into action, learning how she could prepare and what arrangements needed to be made for her care. Unselfish as always.

I guess her final act of unselfishness was to teach us how to go through something like this. With a smile when possible. With patience when she struggled for the words and did her best to communicate. With a sense of humor when she began to lose control of the movement of her hands, and she gave each one a name so she could chastise it when it failed her.

Our friendship had so many facets. Birdwatching. Helping set up a weekly evensong service at our church. Trekking to Trader Joe’s to scout the latest irresistible delight. Walking my dog on beautiful trails. She even got me on top of a brahma bull in downtown Denver…how’s that for trusting someone?

I will always miss you Jill. The hole in my heart is huge. But I rejoice that you are free of that body…I believe you are already surrounded by more cats and dogs than you could ever have imagined. I believe I will see you on the other side and we’ll share a giggle or two again.

You are my new irreverent guardian angel. Just as it should be.

“A generous heart is never lonesome.” John O’Donohue

Going to your new internist who says she wants to do a “memory test” on you, and then she forgets to do it.

Not realizing how gray your hair is because you don’t have good lighting in your house.

Noting how the physical trainer in the gym thinks it’s cute you are asking about a piece of strength equipment, and resisting the urge to tell him how many years you’ve been working out.

Starting to realize the person in the mirror really is what you look like now.

Not only making lists, but making duplicate lists. One for the kitchen table. One for the car.

Watching your prayer list grow longer and longer with names of friends dealing with serious health issues.

Avoiding unnecessary drama in life whenever possible.

Two words:  elastic waist.

Four words:   “I’ll take the discount.”

Fully paying attention to how beautiful a full moon is, how sweetly a wren sings, how good a cool breeze can feel on a hot day.

Being grateful you were alive when the Beatles first appeared, when the astronauts landed on the moon, when stores were festive and fun at the holidays and window-shopping was a treat (and safe), and when nothing felt better than roller-skating down the sidewalk or waiting for the ice cream truck (Merry Mobile) to stop by. 

Wishing people would stop starting at their phones 24/7.

Being able to remember who sat next to you in fourth grade but having no idea where you put your keys. Or those two lists you made.

Being astonished that Herb Alpert is 87.

Getting in extra steps by looking for your car.

Deciding that it really is time to get your life together.  Really.

Setting new goals…for the next 30 years….why not?

“My mother always used to say, ‘The older you get, the better you get. Unless you’re a banana.” Betty White