It’s a new year.  A new decade.  A new life perhaps.

In our 20s and 30s, this would be grounds for a major celebration of all the wonderful things we just knew would come to pass.  So much time ahead. So many adventures to have.

Now as we put more decades behind us, we look to a new one and think:  how many more of these do I get to have?  If we stay stuck in that thinking, we might as well take a cappuccino and sugar doughnut and assume the fetal position.  It’s understandably a little jarring to see where the sand is in the hourglass.

But life is for the living.  Nothing has really changed, because so much is out there before us.  We can have any adventure we choose (if you’ve always wanted to join the Merchant Marines, do it.  Granted, passing the physical might be a bit tricky). If we really want to finally learn how to windsurf or fly to Havana for cigars and music or, as Lily Tomlin said so many years ago, get even with the phone company, this is our chance.

And with some exceptions of course, what holds us back is not so much our bodies.  It’s our minds. It’s easier to stay in the way of thinking that makes us comfortable. Where the music is always at a certain volume. And the temperature is just right. And everything works just as simply and reliably as it once did.  And we don’t have to learn anything new.

That’s OLD thinking.  And nothing will age us faster.

We were never content to accept everything our parents liked…music, hairstyles, clothes, politics, attitudes. So why would we want to stay stuck now, refusing to tap into the energy of changing times…especially when by doing so, we can connect with younger people and have real conversations and meaningful moments with children and grandchildren?

My father used to call others his age “old fogies” or “old fossils.”  Even as an elderly man, he made a distinction between those who seemed to have given up on so many things and those who did not. Think about it:  have you ever enjoyed being around an angry older person?  Someone who seems to just be angry about the world all the time?  It’s not fun.

Especially when you also can be around someone who’s as full of life as ever, greeting each new day with gratitude and wonder.  I’ve always said everyone should have at least one friend who is over 80.  It’s important.  It teaches you something.  And as we baby boomers and beyond approach being the older or oldest one in the room, let’s hope we become that wise, patient, fun-loving senior that people of all ages want to be around.

Of course, as we age, we all carry the scars and bruises of our lives. Sadness, worry, poor health and disappointments are part of our DNA now.  We are who we are.  And it’s perfectly fine for us to reminisce, to look fondly upon the scrapbook photos (remember those?) at times where no one had a cell phone at the beach, or had to use 3 remotes to turn on the television, or a Sunday newspaper actually hit the front door. 

But if we fight what’s new now…if we dig our heels in the ground and declare we aren’t willing to learn new technology and new ways of doing things, we’re going to get old very, very fast.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t like that prospect.  I certainly am discerning about which “new” things I take the time to make part of my life, but I don’t want to shut my mind to any of it. I might miss something. I might even discover I like it.

I’m not going backwards.  

Each birthday just means I’m better!  (Just ask my dog.)

The 2020’s are here….think young!

“If you think you’ve peaked, find a new mountain.”     Anonymous

I took my dog for a walk this morning on a path around a small lake. It’s a path we’ve walked many times before, usually seeing a great blue heron wading silently, a few ducks in the water, and the familiar bluebirds and sparrows in the trees.  This morning was about the same.  Nothing really new or out of the ordinary, though it was a bit unusual that we were the only ones on this path. So we just enjoyed the quiet.

Since it was such a pretty sunny and cool morning, when we completed the loop, we turned around and began walking it again, this time in a different direction.  It wasn’t long before I heard a familiar call that I used to hear when I would visit a park 1,000 miles away. I followed the sound and there it was, a belted kingfisher, or “Elvis” bird as he’s sometimes called because of the unusual comb of feathers on top of his head. 

“How cool,” I said out loud, because I love these birds and I hadn’t expected that.  We went a few more steps and then spotted a hairy woodpecker (yes, there really is a species called that) busy flitting from branch to branch in search of grubs.  Again, a bird not as common around these parts as other types of woodpeckers. It was a treat.

Had we not turned around and walked the same path again, we would have missed them. 

How many things have I missed because I didn’t take a second look, or consider looking closer at what was going on?  How many friends do we never meet because we’re too busy being too busy?

One joy of growing older is stepping to the side of the rat race and taking a deep breath. You still have responsibilities, bills to pay, appointments to keep, and so on.  But you start to realize that everything goes as it should anyway, regardless of how fast you run.

And all that “time” you’re trying to save…what are you using it for? 

Maybe now is when you stop going against the current…instead, flow with it.  Pay attention to the natural rhythm of each day. If you must, schedule an appointment with yourself…to do nothing.  Sit on the patio and listen. Lean back in a comfy chair and let your mind wander.  Take a walk and really look around where you are.

The holidays are a time to think about adding more peace to your life.  Seriously!  Yes, there’s traffic and frustrated shoppers and too much sugar and really ugly sweaters….buy there’s also a wonderful stillness on Christmas Eve. A silence you can find that can touch your heart and remind you of all that is possible…and that does not require a phone, sports watch or ear buds.

It’s a gift.  One you can give yourself.  One you can unwrap anytime, anywhere, any day of the coming year.

This year especially, there’s so much meanness out there that wants to clutter your soul. Keep your heart safe from it all.

Give yourself what really matters. 

Have a very happy season…and keep rockin’ it!

“Let us seek then, the gift of silence…” Thomas Merton

During my last adventure in moving, the crew somehow managed to mangle a piece of furniture I had carried with me through several previous moves.  It was a somewhat odd piece; a bit of wrought iron in an interesting shape holding what was basically a metal tray at the top, and then sprayed black.  Sounds ugly, but it was actually interesting.

When I opened the box it was supposed to be in, all that remained was the metal bottom, now squashed together and no sign of the top.  I’m not sure how they managed to do this, but it was done. I kept the mangled iron piece, as it just seemed like the right thing to do.  In my new digs, I put the piece in the yard, thinking maybe it could be some kind of yard art or a vessel for a vine to cling to.

A few years pass.  And the piece is just leaning against the fence, looking lost. I’m thinking it’s starting to suggest I’m collecting junk for the sake of collecting junk. So I go out one day and pick it up, and inspect it again.

It’s still interesting.  In fact, in many ways, it’s downright beautiful.  A little scarred.  A  bit more rusted.  But actually an elegant design that begs to be seen. 

I carry it inside my house.

I’ve always loved art with texture…tapestry, fiber, something I can put my hands on.  I like unexpected things.  I like found objects. So hey…what about that empty space on that wall?  Where I’ve been hoping to find something I like to put there, yet finances have kept me from really pursuing anything?

You guessed it.  I hung it. And I LOVE it.

And even if no one else understands, I do.

It made me think.  If we can repurpose objects that have been mangled or abused, why can’t we repurpose ourselves?  We get older, and we start feeling like we don’t fit in.  We want to get involved in new projects and groups and we are timid to do so because someone will think “we’re old.” 

Our careers come to a stopping point, often by no choice of ours, and we have to find part-time employment.  Yet we have anxiety about walking into a business and inquiring if they need help, because we know we’ll be years older than the person standing there.

Or maybe we are just ready to “repurpose” ourselves, but we’re not sure we know how.  Can we really do that?  Is it ever too late to shake off some of the rust and get back out there?

It’s funny how time works. When we’re in our 20s and 30s the road just seems to stretch out forever.  Then we get to the 40s and 50s and it feels like everything is speeding up.

Then the 60s come and we would give anything to have 20 years back (and our waistline).

Where did it all go?  And what lies ahead?  If all we really have is right now, this minute, then does any of that really matter?  Maybe the best use of our energy is just making it right now, whatever that is.

Check out what author and educator Nancy K. Schlossberg wrote in a 2018 Market Watch article:

“When Mikhail Baryshnikov, then age 62, danced at the 2010 Ringling Museum International Festival, he came onto a plain stage with nothing but a screen. He started dancing to a video of a young man dancing. And the young man was Baryshnikov at a much earlier age. He danced to his younger self. You saw three dancers-the younger, the older and the shadow. He no longer leapt in the air but he still created a thrilling performance. He had style.”

As baby boomers and beyond, we’ve earned the right to be whoever we choose to be, and if that means a newer, “repurposed” version of ourselves, then bring it on.  We’re still handsome.  We’re still beautiful.  We’re still spirits in the universe.

Life really is a kaleidoscope. And each time we turn it, we see new things. New shapes. New beauty. And that includes us.

Make each day your masterpiece. John Wooden

You’ve worked hard. Very hard. You’ve worked so hard for so many years that it’s how you define yourself. You see familiar faces every day, follow a familiar routine, and relate to the world based on what is expected of you. There’s a peace in this. A safe comfort.

Your goal: to retire eventually and really “start enjoying life.” You long to sleep past the alarm, have that second cup of coffee on the deck, plan your day as you wish or have no plan at all.

It all sounds divine.

And then it happens.

And you feel lost.

No one is expecting you each morning. You are free to do or not do as you please. Your “title” is how you were once known. There’s no friendly chatter in the break room or office parties at the holidays.

You’re not even sure what you’re supposed to do now…or who you are.

Freedom is scary sometimes. It’s easy to forget how it felt all those years ago when you took a chance on a job, or moved to a new city, or took a deep breath and went it to the boss and said give me a raise or I’m history. You did it then. You forged your path and created your persona.

And you can do it again. Because now, all the noise and chatter and burden of what others expect from you is fading away…and your spirit is free to guide you.

If that sounds all touchy feely, think about it. This might be the first opportunity you’ve had to really see what’s inside…is there a creative voice waiting to express something? Is there a cheerful volunteer looking to help others? Is there an adventurous soul who is ready for that bicycle trip to Europe?

And when it comes to age, sure, you’re older. But good news: it might mean you’re even better! The New England Journal of Medicine says, “…abilities requiring expertise and experience, verbal knowledge, executive functioning, and complex problem solving—the components of wisdom—don’t peak until our 70s. As compared with younger people, older people report having significantly less stress and worry and significantly more happiness and life satisfaction.”

How’s that for a boost? You really are getting better!

So retire with pride. With gusto. With the understanding that it might feel odd for a bit, and you might feel lost, but the path is waiting for you. And you soon will be ready to go places you’ve never before imagined.

And if your “path” is simply a quieter way of life, that’s okay because that is what is right for you. No more rush hour madness. No pressure to dress “corporate.” No having to ignore the rudeness of a supervisor. That person you’ve always been deep down inside no longer has to bend and twist to conform to company policy.

Now, you’re the boss of you. (At least in theory!) So give yourself a raise! A raise in happiness. In spontaneous moments of fun. In making a difference in someone else’s life. In trying something new or going back to something you loved long ago.

And don’t forget the wisdom and experience you have gained is so valuable. When you’re ready, share it with someone younger. It’s your gift to the universe.

Retire from stress, not life. You’ve been promoted!

“Don’t act your age in retirement. Act like the inner young person you have always been.” – J. A. West