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Maybe it was worth forgetting.

06/10/2024 / Laura

Aging can be quite entertaining sometimes. Kind of like getting on a roller coaster that takes you up, down, and around…but this ride is not one you can easily predict. You’ve watched others get onboard and hit speeds that amaze you, and you’ve seen what it can do to their faces, mid-sections, and personalities.

And you swear that won’t happen to you.

Wow, I’ll never look that bad in a swimsuit. For sure, I won’t walk around with hair that color. You won’t catch me wearing something that age-inappropriate.

But we all have been guilty, right? If not in public, then within the confines of our homes. Who hasn’t walked past their bedroom mirror and wondered who that is in the reflection…it must be the poor lighting.

But as many others who’ve walked ahead on this path, we eventually relax a bit and accept—even celebrate—the changes that are happening. A bit of gray can be distinctive. Reading glasses have never been more chic. It’s a whole lot more relaxing at the beach when you’re not trying to hold in your stomach.

And woohoo for senior discounts!

I hear someone on the radio talking about an older friend of theirs who said, “I only have about 30 more summers, I want to make the most of them.” (The person who said this is 68.) You bet. If a good long lifespan can be divided into thirds, then this can be the best one—the one where you guard your time for what matters.

Want to get a coloring book and buy some crayons? Go for it. (Be sure to close your eyes and smell them before you even use them, you’ll go somewhere magical.)

Want to drive to a natural retreat and just sit and listen to the morning birdsong? Do it. And turn off your phone.

Want to learn Italian? No one needs to know but you. And your brain will thank you.

What is harder is when you start to feel your mind is not quite as sharp as it once was. It’s infuriating to not be able to remember a last name, or how you modified that recipe before, or which player made that amazing play last year to win the finals.

And it can be frightening as well, especially if a parent or other loved one spent their last years in cognitive decline.

There’s no easy answer to that, but there are ways we can fight back, or at least slow it down. Regular exercise (not just an extra trip to the fridge. Actual cardio and strength work.) A healthier diet (Sit down to more fruits and veggies each day. Push back from the table before you are full.) Good companionship and opportunities to be around upbeat, interesting people. (Check out why people in the Blue Zones around the world have the greatest longevity).

Keep learning new things. Or even relearn some things you know you’ve forgotten. That can be hard to admit. But if it was worth knowing before, it’s worth relearning now.

And while we’re at it, let’s really let go of some of the stuff we don’t need to “know” anymore. It’s okay to store addresses and phone numbers in your phone (just occasionally read an old-fashioned map). Can’t remember a favorite recipe? Look up a new one, and see how it tastes. Has it been years since you did Tai chi? Just get up and gently move around, breathe deeply, and see how that feels.

And please, let go of things that caused pain, like the names of the mean kids in 8th grade or your first boss who didn’t like anybody. Maybe it’s worth forgetting.

It’s YOUR time. You’ve never been this wise. The universe is just waiting to show you what’s possible.

“Your problem is how you are going to spend this one odd and precious life you have been issued. Whether you’re going to spend it trying to look good and creating the illusion that you have power over people and circumstances, or whether you are going to taste it, enjoy it and find out the truth about who you are.” Anne Lamott

It’s just not enough.

05/24/2024 / Laura

One lifetime is not enough

To walk the trails that beckon

To write all the novels in my head

To understand why a dog’s life is so short.

One lifetime just doesn’t allow for enough time

To get the garden in just the right shape

To understand the ocean

To get even with the company that provides cell service.

One life

One lifetime

One road that doesn’t take you as far as you hoped—or did you just get lost?

Yet, here you are

Right where you were supposed to be

But that doesn’t mean you have to stay still

Even when others say it’s safer that way.

“There is no path that goes the whole way.”

Han Shan

Looking for the light.

10/31/2023 / Laura

So much heaviness these days. It seems harder and harder to find a ray of light. For me, Nature is always a refuge, especially as I grow older. Work comes and goes, friends come and go, bad news seems to be everywhere, health challenges wax and wane, and the noise of life overwhelms.

Maybe just take a breath. And a walk in the woods.

Poet Mary Oliver puts it beautifully.

When I am Among the Trees

by Mary Oliver

When I am among the trees,

especially the willows and the honey locust,

equally beech, the oaks and the pines,

they give off such hints of gladness.

I would almost say that they save me, and daily.

I am so distant from the hope of myself,

in which I have goodness, and discernment,

and never hurry through the world

but walk slowly, and bow often.

Around me the trees stir in their leaves

and call out, “Stay awhile.”

The light flows from their branches.

And they call again, “It’s simple,” they say,“

and you too have come

into the world to do this, to go easy, to be filled

with light, and to shine.”

The seasons are changing. The air is sharper; the colors are brighter. The light is there: we just have to find it.

Blame it on the heat.

08/22/2023 / Laura

It can render you motionless. Your brain feels like it’s an oozing blob. Your thoughts are muddled. It occurs to you that you really should get up and accomplish something; then the feeling passes.

It’s just too hot.

There are dust bunnies on top of dust bunnies. A stack of junk mail that needs to be sorted. Half-filled water bottles that should be combined and refrigerated. Car keys that are not in their right place.

But it’s just too hot.

One thing you learn as you grow older is just how far you can push your body in extreme situations. Muscles aren’t quite as elastic as they once were. Bones creak a bit more. It’s all fine, as long as you can have moments of recovery that involve liquids, shade, and a bit of protein. So you set out to hit the gym, or take a walk around the block, or tackle that hall closet that seems to have a voice of its own.

But the heat. It’s too much.

I confess to serial inertia at this time of year. Not so much with physical activities, as with mental projects. I do my work, with more frequent water breaks that are indoors. I meet my obligations. But it’s hard not to feel a creeping fatigue when the heat index is above 100 and the job on your desk is hotter than a firecracker.

The answer? Fans, and lots of them. A cooling collar for your long-haired dog. A cold rag for your neck. A screen saver on your computer that shows a snowy Colorado mountaintop.

Remember how much fun summer was when you were a kid?

It even smelled different; fresh and promising. The grass was so soft and cool beneath your bare feet. (Remember bare feet??) The sky seemed a perfect blue and the clouds were big and puffy and did not indicate a severe storm and power outage was imminent. The ice cream that the man in the MerryMobile sold you each day at noon was so cold and delicious; biting into it felt like a day on the beach. Time seemed to expand and wait for you to choose how you’d spend your afternoon.

Now it’s more of a calculated schedule: what outdoor tasks do you have to do before it’s too hot? How late in the evening can you mow the lawn?

It’s just too hot.

And it’s very important to remember that for those of us of a certain age, heat really can be deadly. The experts say our bodies can’t adjust to it as quickly as when we were young. That can be due to medicines, or chronic conditions that affect how the body regulates its temperature.

So how can you stay healthy?

• Drink lots of water. All day long. Don’t wait until you are thirsty. Yes, this might mean more trips to the bathroom, but it least it will be cool in there.

• Wear loose-fitting clothes. just be careful they don’t have giant holes in them when you have to accept that front-door delivery.

• Keep your AC maintained. This is a fun one, since I truly think the air conditioning system in my house is possessed by a demon who occasionally just shuts off a duct or two for kicks. But give it a try anyway.

• Put on a hat when you go outside. Go ahead, grab that funny looking thing off the shelf and put it on. You’ve earned the right to look a little eccentric. Wearing a hat can really help keep the sun’s heat off your noggin. You might start a trend in your neighborhood.

• Remember the sunscreen. Tanning days are over. George Hamilton is not your hero. Skin cancer is very real and can be very dangerous. Yes, we definitely grew up in the era where lying on a lounge slathered in baby oil was not only accepted, it was expected. If you really need to feel tanned, buy some bronzer.

• Take it easy. Really. Be smart about when you are outdoors and what you are doing. Even inside; too much can catch up with you.

Stay smart. Stay cool. And when someone asks you to do something you really don’t want to do, just smile and say, “It’s just too hot.”

“What dreadful hot weather we have! It keeps one in a continual state of inelegance.”
— Jane Austen