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Where did I put that list?

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Okay, enough with the ridiculous security questions when you try to register on websites.

I mean, coming up with new passwords you can remember is bad enough. But these questions….seriously?

  •  “What was the street you lived on as a child?” (If you’ve lived in several cities, this is quite amusing.)
  •  “What is your favorite movie?”   (what day is it?)
  •  “What is your favorite color?” (see above…or re-watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail)

And my current personal favorite:

 “If you had to have a different first name, what would it be?”

??????????

I thought I was registering an account, not enrolling in the witness protection program.

Many days, my main challenge is remembering, in no particular order:

  • Where my keys are
  • Where my glasses are
  • Where my wallet is
  • Where my gym pass is
  • Where the list is I just made

And now you want me to remember what I was thinking on that special day when I registered my account online….so that things would be “easier.”

Maybe I should just start putting the same answer for every question…remember Charlie Weaver on Hollywood Squares? No matter the question, his first answer was always “Efrem Zimbalist Junior.”

(Takes you back, doesn’t it?)

It’s like that word “remind”. I love how that sounds.   Like I get to have a new brain every day. Some of the synonyms of the word “remind” are “ring a bell. Strike a chord. Hark back. Jog your memory.”

Nice. Doesn’t make me feel like an idiot because I can’t remember the color of my satchel in second grade.

Scientists tell us our brains consist of approximately one billion neurons, and these neurons work together to help us remember things. The good news is our neurons keep growing throughout our lives. And there are all kinds of memories…immediate memories, working memories, long-term memories. I’ve also read the brain operates on the same amount of power as a 10-watt light bulb.

Which explains Congress.

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Animals know how to remind us of things, like mealtimes. They just sit about 3 inches away from us and stare intently at us. Perhaps even with a bowl in the mouth. Regardless of changes in time or seasons. They know what’s important, and when things need to happen. Without logging in.

I get the need for security and protection. But the harder you make the questions, the more likely we have to write down our answers, which kind of defeats the purpose, right?

Enough of this, it’s wearing out my brain. And reminding—no, wait—harking back that I haven’t updated my passwords in a while.

Better get out the dictionary. And the aspirin.

 

 

 “What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?”

                   The Bridgekeeper 

 

 

 

 

 

Walking Through the Fear.

Nobody like to talk about being scared.  Is that because we don’t think we are supposed to be scared anymore, now that we’re all grown up?

When we were little, it was okay to admit something might be hiding underneath the bed.  Or the Ferris wheel was just a bit too high for our liking.  Or that weird-looking insect that just jumped on our leg made us feel uneasy.

But what about now?  Especially since as boomers and beyond, our fears are usually a whole lot more menacing….

Cancer.  Bankruptcy.  Losing a spouse.  Surgery.  No retirement fund.  Nephews, nieces, and grandchildren serving in combat.  

Dying.

JOd4DPGLThifgf38Lpgj_IMGI doubt if anyone enjoys being scared, but I can’t believe we don’t all share that emotion from time to time.  And it’s sneaky.  We think we’re mad because the traffic is slow, or the dog just ate the newspaper, or our boss just asked us to do the impossible.  When really, deep down, we’re afraid.

Afraid we can’t handle it.  Afraid we’ll look bad.  Afraid we’ll fail.

It always reminds me of the flying monkeys in The Wizard of Oz.  First there’s one.  Then another one shows up.  Then all of a sudden they are everywhere, swooping down and carrying me off to the land of despair.  What began as a simple worry can escalate to global termination if I’m not careful.  Why is that?

I don’t want to give fear that much power over me.  I’m amazed how it can make my stomach queasy.  Give me dry mouth.  Make me feel tense and rigid.  It messes with my mind and my composure.  It’s one thing if you are literally staring at your fear—say, a hungry mountain lion.  But it’s another when you know your mind has latched on to some worry and has inflated it to such levels that you can’t think straight.

So you stop.  Take a breath.  Pray to your guardian angel to lend a hand.

Try not to get on the phone and chew out some unsuspecting telemarketer.

Years ago, I was in Yosemite National Park, and was challenged to walk up a very steep rock (shaped like a giant mound, but high enough to make me nervous).  I’m not a fan of heights.  I can tell myself everything’s okay, but I still feel my heart racing and my stomach talking to me.  But I trudged on, because another person volunteered to hold on…and gave me some advice.  He suggested I just stand still and feel all the fear and let it wrap around me, then take another step, and another.  I did so.

I confess it did help, though I won’t say I’m not scared of heights anymore.  Still, sometimes I call upon that advice when other, more threatening fears appear on the horizon.

87Like waiting on lab test results.  Or wondering if I made a wrong turn when mapping out my life.

Maybe some day I won’t be afraid.  But for now, I’m going to cut myself some slack and hope others do the same for themselves.  Emotions are supposed to be felt.  Even fear is telling us something.

It reminds us we are alive.  And no matter what our age, we’re still very young spirits.

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by each experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.”

    Eleanor Roosevelt

 

 

 

 

Fit After 50.

DSCN0123Let’s talk about balance.

Not the kind that we never can achieve (balance between home, work, family, sanity), but rather the type of balance that might determine whether or not we can stay independent as we age.

Whole body balance. Balance that improves as we become physically stronger. Balance that keeps us walking straight, feeling healthy and hopefully, in our own homes as long as possible.

Why is balance so important for boomers and beyond?  Because by the time most of us hit 50, we’ve lost 15 to 20% of our strength.

Imagine. Just that statistic can explain why you’re having trouble carrying in the dog food. Or walking up the stairs with laundry. Or having to sit down to put on your pants.

Ouch.

But the good news is how quickly a healthy person in his or her 60s can gain muscle…as much as two to three pounds of muscle in six months to a year.

Here’s the catch: you have to actually get up and work out. That does not necessarily mean you have to become Mr. or Ms. Olympia, or walk into a hard-body gym and feel intimidated next to the 20-somethings in their spandex.

Thank heavens more and more places are springing up that cater to those of us 50 and over who want to get in shape and feel better, but don’t want the traditional gym experience.

One such place is Welcyon. There’s only a few so far in the country and already, response has been great.

What makes Welcyon so popular? It’s smaller, calmer, and feels more plush than a regular rec center or gym. The staff is small, knowledgeable, and welcoming. And the equipment is specially geared for a workout that while it feels smoother and easier, is actually more effective at building strength than the traditional heavy-plate method.

And best of all, it’s for 50+. Thank heavens. No flipping monster tires or hurling a sledgehammer or other activities that are too high risk.

Daniel Mason, owner of the Welcyon in Lakewood, Colorado, explains. “Our strength equipment uses air resistance, not clunky weight stacks. The result is a challenging workout that actually works you harder, but doesn’t stress your joints and ligaments like a traditional machine. With air resistance, you are working your body evenly…instead of your stronger side compensating and throwing you off balance.”

Cardio machines at Welcyon are also air-driven, so the motion is smooth and even.

But what really sets the technology of Welcyon apart is this: once you’ve been assessed by one of the center’s professional coaches and your routine is determined, all you have to do on your next visit is insert the card into a reader on the machine and you’re set to go. The equipment…lets says it’s the machine that works your abdomen…”recognizes” you and automatically sets to the correct number of pounds you are working. If there is a seat adjustment, it lists that information so you can do it quickly and easily. Of course you can raise or lower the intensity of your workout at any time…but how cool is that? Instead of walking in and trying to remember what you’ve been doing, or struggling with changing a setting, it’s all done for you.

I personally love that. I confess I’ve discovered Welcyon and am a member. And I love it. Why?

  • It’s comfortable. I like walking into an environment where mature people are focusing on feeling better and getting stronger, as opposed to competing.
  • It’s inviting. Welcyon gyms are smaller. There’s a soothing water feature. Everything is new and clean and purposeful. There’s a sitting area for socializing. The background music is very low, and it’s a surprisingly wonderful blend of boomer, big band, and a bit of classical.
  • It’s smart. Each strength machine greets you by name, sets your resistance, counts reps and adjusts your workouts, making them progressively more challenging as you improve. The ellipticals have a built-in fan (I really love that). You feel like you are making efficient use of your time when you are there.
  • It’s safe. Welcyon coaches know what they are doing and how to guide you, whether you’ve exercised your whole life, are just starting out, or are recovering from an injury. There’s a dedicated area for stretching after working out to help keep you from overdoing. There’s even an interesting balance “clock” on the floor that helps develop your all-important reflexes.
  • It’s motivating. I want to go to Welycon. I’ve worked out my whole life off and on, with personal trainers, in classes, doing just about everything…and I always liked how it made me feel, but I never particularly looked forward to going. This feels different…I like the idea of exercising around others over 50.

But this isn’t really about going to a particular gym. No matter where you live or what type of exercise experience is available, you can get stronger…it’s so important. Many recreation centers offer classes for people over 50. You could start one of your own. If nothing else, gather a few neighbors and start a brisk walking program in the neighborhood. Go by a sporting goods store and check out the free weights or kettle balls. Be careful…and start slow…but don’t just sit there…get up and get moving.

Exercise has been called the “fountain of youth” because nothing else has been proven to be as effective when it comes to enhancing our overall health and longevity. I know for me, I have fewer aches and pains when I’m regularly exercising. I sleep better. I think better. I like the feeling of being steady on my feet and knowing I can pick up something, hold my balance in Tai chi, carry a child up the stairs, etc.

You might start out saying “can I do it?”

Chances are in no time you’ll be saying “how far can I go?”

 

“I don’t care how old I live; I just want to be LIVING while I am alive!”

       Jack LaLanne

 

 

 

Time to laugh.

We need laughter. Especially this year. So why not take a break and chuckle?

After all, here’s what happens when you laugh:

  • Laughter can cause the tissue that forms the inner lining of blood vessels to dilate and expand and thus increase blood flow
  • Laughter boosts immune systems
  • Laughter increases your pain tolerance
  • Laughter exercises your facial, abdominal and chest muscles
  • Laughter improves the function of your brain

 

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Need we say more? Let’s let some funny people do it for us:

 

“If you’re going to do something tonight that you’ll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.”   Henny Youngman

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.”   Groucho Marx

“There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.”   Jerry Seinfeld 

“If banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?”   Alan King 

“One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.” George Carlin

“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” Robin Williams

 “Slept like a log last night. Woke up in the fireplace.”   Anonymous

“She said she was approaching 40, and I couldn’t help but wonder from what direction.” Bob Hope

“Housework won’t kill you, but why take the chance?”   Phyllis Diller

“If God wanted us to fly, he would have given us tickets.”   Mel Brooks

“I still feel 30, except when I try to run.”   Bob Newhart

 

 

Who are your favorite funny people? Please share…we need to keep laughing!

 

 

“If we couldn’t laugh, we would all go insane.”

       Robert Frost

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