Category: Uncategorized (Page 13 of 39)

A woman I interviewed once said she had a credo: “live and learn, die and forget it all.” One thing seems to be for sure, we tend to learn the hard way, and by the time we leave this form of life, we are mighty intelligent…if we can remember all the things we’ve learned along the way.

As a baby boomer, I’m right there…finally figuring out some very simple things. And constantly being amazed how we often choose the hard path, when we really don’t have to.

I’m not talking rocket science. I’m talking tiny things. Things that Mr. Rogers and Captain Kangaroo knew. Things that take the kinks out of every day. Maybe you can add to this list?

• Keep a pair of “cheater” glasses in your glove compartment, so you can always read a map, receipt, phone message, etc.

• Keep 5-10 dollar bills in your car as well. You just never know.

• Before you go crazy buying annual flowers and plants for your yard and pots, only to go home and realize you overbought, or they won’t fit, or whatever, actually go the nursery and take photos with your phone of what you like. Then come home and think about it. Or, in reverse, take photos of your pots and planting areas, and take that with you when you go to make your selections. You’ll save time and money, and you can easily get professional advice.

• That leads to something else we boomers need to get better at doing: if you are considering a car, house, apparel, furniture, or any other major item, take a photo of it, go home and think. If on the way home you have a fender bender, take a photo of the other person’s license and insurance info.

It all seems so simple, but we’re just not wired to do this immediately.

Other things I’ve learned:

• Writing (as in picking up a pen or pencil) a thank-you note really does matter.

• After you bring in groceries and empty the bags, take the bags back to your car. Right at that moment, not later. Then you might actually have those bags with you the next time you go to the store. Who knew.

• Putting out water and bird feeders will bring you endless joy.

• Occasionally significantly overtip a wait person. They’re not making a fortune. Your generosity could make their day. And it will definitely make you feel good.

• Gray is in. Seriously. Young girls are dying their hair gray. Don’t ask me why. But suddenly we’re cool. So don’t fret if you have a few gray hairs. Flaunt them.

• Buy a phone charger and leave it plugged in inside your car.

• Never run out of toilet paper, aspirin, peanut butter or chocolate. You never know when a blizzard could hit.

This just scratches the surface…share your wisdom…sometimes the simplest things are the hardest to learn. What do you know?

“Creativity is intelligence having fun.” Albert Einstein

It’s everywhere. You stop at a drive-through window and can’t quite hear what is being said, and then the body-less voice curtly informs you she’s already given you your total.

You enter a business 20 minutes after it’s opened only to be told in a brusque tone, “You’ll have to wait before I can do anything. You know we just opened.”

You try to say good morning to the mail delivery person who, never looking up from her phone, barely grunts a response. (All as he or she is depositing your mail in your next-door neighbor’s box.)

Why is everyone so rude? It’s become so rare to have a positive customer service experience that when we do, we tell everyone we know…and they are usually as amazed as we are. The rule used to be that if you have a good experience, you tell 3 or 4 people. But if you have a bad experience, you tell about 15 people, who usually turn around and tell a few more. So you can see the value of good customer service.

But these days, it’s so rare to have a friendly encounter, the rule seems to have flopped….you’ll tell anyone who will listen!

And of course it’s not just customer service. It’s on the internet. In the classrooms. Behind the wheel. And most disgustingly of all, in politics. The days of senators passionately disagreeing with one another in a debate, and then meeting later for a cocktail or dinner to share a friendship, seem long gone. Today’s it ugly. It’s heated. And right from the very top, it’s quite often vulgar.

There’s a word I used to wonder about when I was a kid. Vulgar. Just the sound of it was bad. Yet nowadays, it’s more common than not.

I know most baby boomers were raised by people who did not speak this way, or at least, not in public. You certainly didn’t speak to your teachers or professors with such disrespect. And it’s also not fair to label this as just a generational thing, as we see every day, it’s every age.

It’s just a shame. It’s so much easier to take a breath and say thank you. Or you’re welcome. Or excuse me. Or sorry, my fault. Or even, you’re right.

Maybe we can’t change the world. But maybe, we can each change our world, one experience at a time. Maybe when someone is rude, we can muster up our inner wise child and smile even broader. We can be even nicer. It’s not easy, but it might give the other person a reason to re-consider the moment.

Because no matter how old we are, we’re all kids inside…often scared, lonely, lost, missing someone who isn’t here. Instead of fanning the flames, let’s douse some of the anger with kindness.

Civility. It could be the next great comeback.

“Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind.” Henry James

A volatile situation is about to erupt…in the office, the parking lot, a dining room or anywhere emotions are high.  Who is more likely to turn down the volume and find a peaceful compromise:  the young savvy techie, or the gray-haired retired businessman?

“It turns out that managing emotions is a skill in itself, one that takes many of us decades to master. For a study published this year, German researchers had people play a gambling game meant to induce regret. Unlike 20-somethings, those in their 60s didn’t agonize over losing, and they were less likely to try to redeem their loss by later taking big risks.”  (Smithsonian.com)

Isn’t that great news?  Science is revealing that, unlike our younger cohorts, as we boomers continue to age, we become better at handling conflict.  We consider different points of view and know how to compromise.

That probably isn’t a big surprise to you if you are 50+.  You’ve probably been in situations where younger men and women are angry or frustrated about something that you also find disturbing, but you’re a bit slower to stamp your foot. Sure, sometimes we’re worn out because let’s face it, chances are we’ve seen it before.

But most of the time, it’s because we’ve earned our patience right along with our wrinkles.

What’s really great about all this is how much happier we are, for the most part, after the age of 50. We start to actually enjoy each day for what it is.  We let mistakes go and don’t obsess as much about what we’ll do next. 

And there’s more to celebrate about aging.  Outsideonline.com offers this:

“A study conducted by MIT in conjunction with the U.S. Census Bureau, analyzed 2.7 million people who started companies between 2007 and 2014 and found that among the fastest growing tech companies, the average founder was 45 years-old at the time of founding.  They also found that a 50-year-old is twice as likely to have a massive success than a 30-year-old.”

Woohoo!

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Think of sports.  Sure, a young, nimble, strong body is invaluable in any sport.  But so is wisdom.  Patience.  Knowing how to use the clock.  Reading a team’s defense.  Understanding how to psych out your opponent. Being able to come back after falling behind.  It’s why so many world-class athletes truly hit their stride well-past what some might consider their “prime” time.

Chances are, you’ve experienced that feeling…where your years of experience and knowledge come together and you know how to solve the problem—to “win” the situation.

Getting older is good on many levels.  And of course, so is being young. And what’s ironic is how we all tend to look at each other in ways that aren’t quite correct.  Young people fear aging (memory loss, illness, no sexual interest).  Then they age, and realize that not everyone goes through that, yet they also discover that aging doesn’t necessarily mean you have the time and resources to travel, volunteer or start new hobbies. And how many people really get that gold watch when they retire?

Everyone ages in his or her own unique way. But we can celebrate that we have skills and talents that have to be earned over time. 

Let’s use our power to do good in the world. Because it sure could use it.   

“The longer I live, the more beautiful life becomes.”

           Frank Lloyd Wright