Category: Uncategorized (Page 27 of 39)

A Moment at a Time.

02/06/2017 / Laura

Remember when Lucy Van Pelt would set up her “Psychiatric Help” boxes and dispense advice for a nickel? She was never too timid to shy away from the big questions: ”what is the meaning life? Why are here? Why do I never get what I want for Christmas?”

Even as we grow older, the big questions never seem to go away. We might get a glimpse of an answer here or there, but it then seems things change or go wrong and we’re right back where we were in the beginning, asking the same questions.

I’m finding as each “big” birthday passes, it’s only natural to really start wondering what my purpose is. What have I done to make a difference. What mark will I leave on the world.

And am I really screwing up? Blowing opportunities? Missing out on gifts of the universe?

It can be quite a heady dilemma. You look at someone you went to school with. He now lives in an exciting city now with an important job. He travels the world. Has a beautiful wife and two perfect children who now have two perfect children of their own. He’s already planning his retirement beach house and from all outside indications, he’ll get it. Then he, his perfect wife, and their perfect dog will just go on to a perfect next chapter.

Egads. What are you doing that compares to that?

If we get too caught up in this frenzied thinking, we can’t move. We feel thick and slow. Like we’re not in the mainstream, somehow standing outside of the current that seems to be moving everyone else along.

I love the scene in “Finding Nemo” when Marlin asks the sea turtle where the Australian current is, because he has to ride it to get to Sydney and find his son, Nemo. Crash, the wonderful gnarly turtle, exclaims, “You’re riding it Dude! Check it out!” Sure enough, Marlin’s already in the current, moving forward faster than he realized. Actually his bigger challenge will be to figure out when he needs to jump out of the current, so that he can realize his dream of finding Nemo.

It all just makes me wonder sometimes if I’m looking elsewhere for things I have right now…or looking backward and worrying that I left something behind, when that can’t be…because once something is part of you, it’s along for the ride no matter where you go. Or don’t go.

And as for the whole “what am I doing here” worry that can drive us to devour an entire bag of Cheetos at 2 a.m., thinking small might just be the key.

In his book, “How Then Shall We Live,” author Wayne Muller says, “A life is made up of days. Each day is an opportunity to say something honestly, to make something more beautiful, to create something precious, to give a gift only we can provide for the family of the earth. To dedicate a single act to the healing of others is a day well lived.”

The Dalai Lama said, “We are visitors on this planet. We are here for ninety, a hundred years at the very most. During this period, we must try to do something good, something useful with our lives. Try to be at peace with yourself and help others share that peace. If you contribute to other people’s happiness, you will find the true goal, the meaning of life.”

A single act of healing.

Sharing your peace.

Saying something honestly.

Contributing to others’ happiness.

Tiny things, yet huge. Seemingly more and more rare these days.

And needed so so so much.

As boomers, let’s lead the way. Let’s be there for one another. Let’s rock the act of being gentle.

Let’s change the world—one gesture at a time.

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.”

Aesop

Ready to March?

01/17/2017 / Laura

Why participate in a women’s march this Saturday in Washington D.C. or any other city?

Because we are women. We are human beings. We are living, breathing, spirit.

We are mothers. We are sisters. We are friends and girlfriends.

We are doctors, lawyers, nurses, nuns, priests, teachers, writers, accountants, surveyors, geologists, mathematicians, insurance agents, brick layers, seamstresses, architects, soldiers, marines, naval commanders, air force cadets, truck drivers….

We are here. We are nurturers of this planet.

And we deserve the same respect as our male travelers in this journey through the universe.

We should not have to hear language that degrades us.

We should never have to look the other way when dangerous language is thrown about freely.

We should never have to endure any physical contact we did not invite.

We should never, ever have to apologize for not meeting someone else’s standard for beauty.

Because we are beautiful. Because we are made by the Creator.

We look out for ourselves, our fellow women, our young girls.

We can forge a way.

A way that takes us forward with confidence and joy.

We can unite.

We can use our wisdom and our empathy to change the world.

As boomer women, we especially can shine a light.

After all, we’ve endured a lot.

A LOT.

So let’s put on our shoes. Take to the streets. And make our voices heard.

Without the mud, there is no lotus flower. We’ve been tromping in the mud a lot lately.

And we know there is more to come.

But we know we can rise up and let our beauty as healthy, competent, giving women shine.

If you can’t march, you can still talk. Sing. Speak your truth.

Even as the winds blow, together, we can fly high.

Let’s do it.

“A woman is like a tea bag…you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water.”

Eleanor Roosevelt

A little peace under the tree.

12/12/2016 / Laura

The holiday season is a bit of a paradox for most of us….while we sing of quiet and peace, we are often trapped in a vortex of bad traffic, long lines, too much sugar and not enough time for meditation and rest. After all, everything has to be perfect, right? Our children come home, our grandchildren eagerly await our cookies and pies, and we ourselves are convinced that this year, it will be just as it should be.

It’s that whole “letting go” thing again…acknowledging we really have no control on how things turn out. How irritating is that?

I used to think if I heard Clarice sing “There’s Always Tomorrow” one more time in that dang Rudolph cartoon I was going to throw up. When, I would think, will today just be enough? What can’t what I want come to me now? Are all those Hallmark movies lying to us?

It’s not unlike waking up one day and deciding that you are going to be in tune with the universe. You are going to meditate. Do yoga. Journal. Smudge. Read every inspirational book you can find. After all, you’re not a kid anymore so all the wisdom you have gained should be paying off about now.

Doesn’t leave a lot of space for quiet, does it? For peace…for sabbath?

In “How Then, Shall We Live,” author, therapist, minister and founder of Bread For the Journey Wayne Muller says this:

“Many of us are exhausted by this desperate search for answers, as if our life is a big problem to be solved and we haven’t yet found the trick to it, the perfect solution to the puzzle. After all our investigations, we have still not discovered the answer to our life. We figure we must not be working hard enough. So we push harder, hold on more tightly to the problem, hoping to eventually wring some wisdom from our struggle and set our life on the right course.

“But what if “don’t know” is not a signal to push and work and struggle, but rather an indication that it is time to be quiet and listen and wait? What if the answers to our question bout life and path and practice are already speaking to us, and in our rush to find them elsewhere, we miss the easy, gentle wisdom that would teach us all we need to know if we simply center ourselves and be still for just a moment?”

Be still for just a moment. Doesn’t that sound grand?

So maybe this week, we occasionally just stop.

Breathe.

Take it in.

There are too many leaves to rake…but they are beautiful anyway. There’s a house to clean and food to cook…but really all our guests want is to be with us again. We miss our friends who live far away, and our loved ones who departed the earth long ago…but they are alive in our hearts.

As Rumi said, “Let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really love.” Don’t give in to the frenzy. Turn off the television if there’s too much anger there. Play some gentle music if you’re stuck in yet another traffic jam.

You are naturally wise. You have survived a lot.

And you deserve a holiday season that feeds your spirit.

It’s never easy. It probably won’t feel right the first few times you try. That’s okay. Think of as leaving a door open. Eventually, peace will poke its head in.

Before you know it, you’ll be old friends.

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.”

Lao Tzu

Welcome Winter!

12/05/2016 / Laura

Winter has an inferiority complex—and I think we’re to blame.

We complain a lot about winter. As baby boomers and beyond, we grumble about how the cold air makes our bones ache. Dries out our skin. Causes us to shiver on the bus stop or while walking our dog.

We don’t want to drive in it. Or sit outdoors at a sporting event and be uncomfortable.

Winter gets in our way. Slows us down. Simplifies everything.

Hey wait…maybe that’s a good thing?

There’s nothing like 15 degrees, a strong north wind, and a little sleet to force you to take stock. Are you prepared? Do you have what you need to survive? Are you making wise decisions so you literally can stay alive?

And going a bit deeper….are you living your life the way you hoped?

I confess I can grow weary of shoveling snow and slushing around in heavy boots and multiple layers of cold. But I also relish the amazing beauty of this season.

As children, we loved to make snowmen, ride sleds, build forts and attack unsuspecting adults with a barrage of snowballs. (When I was a senior in college, we did this to the professors leaving the journalism building—they were not amused).

Now, I marvel how the snow can sparkle like diamonds. How snow-capped hills shine brilliantly against an unbelievably blue sky. How the crisp air awakens every part of me every time I go outdoors.

Just look at your pets. At least in my house, my dog delights in the snow with a joy that takes me back to that giddy feeling of school being canceled and a warm kitchen.

Instead of seeing winter as a time of decay and death, consider the blanket of beauty that winter can bring to nature. Think of Walt Whitman’s “unseen buds, infinite and waiting”. The ice-covered ponds. How snow lands on each tree branch and defines it with exquisite detail.

“The life of the crystal, the architect of the flake, the fire of the frost, the soul of the sunbeam.” (Words of John Burroughs.)

Garrison Keillor of A Prairie Home Companion once commented how “winter gives us purpose.” I like that. I like a season that reminds us who is in charge, and that we are left with ourselves.

Maybe as people aged 50 and better we can really understand that winter can be hard, but it will pass. Winter’s dreary nature doesn’t last forever. It might not even last a day. And doesn’t the cold make it easier to draw closer together? To snuggle against what is out there, or what might be coming?

And winter is a perfect time to stop and think about those who truly face the challenges of the dropping temperatures…the homeless, the frail, the forgotten. Those who have no shelter from the storm. Who sit by the shops with their empty cup and watch us come and go.

We know their struggle is real, because many of our parents and relatives lived through the Great Depression and had very little. We understand how hard it can be. And we can help.

Wrap yourself up this winter, but not so tight that you cannot take in all that is happening around you. Seasons change. We grow older. And life renews itself again.

“Winter is the kind of showman,

Turning tree stumps into snowmen

And houses into birthday cakes

And spreading sugar over lakes.

Smooth and clean and frosty white,

The world looks good enough to bite.

That’s the season to be young,

Catching snowflakes on your tongue.

Snow is snowy when it’s snowing,

I’m sorry it’s slushy when it’s going.”

Ogden Nash