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Pick up a pencil.

02/12/2015 / Laura

Pencil, anyone?

I confess. I’m a boomer and I love pencils.

I love how they feel in my hand. I love how the aroma of the lead (which is actually graphite). I love being able to erase and start over any time I choose.

Pencils are friendly. Casual. Easygoing. If a pencil was a car, it would be an old Chevy station wagon. Unassuming, yet practical. Modest, yet hard-working.

Johnny Carson used to play with pencils on The Tonight Show that had an eraser on both ends. Henry David Thoreau manufactured pencils. John Steinbeck is said to have started each day with 24 newly sharpened pencils.

We pencil lovers are in the minority these days, at least it feels that way in business meetings. Everyone pulls out their fancy pens and writes silently, while we purists write, erase, and make noise. Somehow, it’s looked down upon, as though you’re not quite as sophisticated as the guy next to you (who is actually writing a note to himself to remember to tape the game later).

It’s really not fair, especially if you are a writer by profession. God knows no one knows more about how things can change than a writer. Maybe it’s our own edits, but usually it’s someone else’s, welcome or not. So we understand the lack of permanence.

Frankly it makes me nervous to write down anything with a pen and ink…it’s so final. So formal. So lacking in imagination.

Pencils have a cooler history than pens. Some say a man in Napoleon’s army is said to have invited the first pencil, though I suspect it was long before that. Man (and Woman) has always wanted to express him/herself, and for sure, change his/her mind as well.

There is actually a Pencil Museum in England. And I must say, they have the coolest website…(click on their “History” tab and scroll down)…clearly a group of people who appreciate all things pencil. The museum traces the birth of the pencil all the way back to graphite being discovered in 1500 and lists 1832 as the first record of a factory in Keswick making pencils.

People boast they can complete the New York Times crossword puzzle in ink.

How lacking in elegance.

A pencil and a crossword puzzle just go together. My mother used to have dozens of 3-inch pencils spread around the kitchen so she could do her morning puzzle while we ate breakfast. Pencils are home. Lunchboxes. Dick and Jane.

Pencil Revolution is a blog devoted to the love and use of pencils. Yes, there’s a community out there. We know we are.

What about you…do you reach for a pen or a pencil? If you are a secret pencil lover, do you proudly show your writing instrument, or reserve it for use only in private?

Don’t be shy, go back to your roots. Pick up a pencil. Roll it in your fingers, smell the graphite, and feel your blood pressure slowly go down. And down. And down….

“Map out your future…but do it in pencil.”

Jon Bon Jovi

Learning new technology.

02/09/2015 / Laura

In the e-book “Better With Age”, retired attorney-turned author John Lefevere spins a tale of a technologically deficient baby boomer fearful of losing his executive position in an upcoming merger. He decides to turn the tables on the younger executives who want him out, and begins secretly educating himself on everything from smartphones to sending tweets and beyond.

What happens next?

Scandal, death, and vindication…just another day in the corporate world! But it brings up an interesting question for anyone of boomer age and beyond:

What do we do when everyone around us seems to be light years ahead in technology—and we need to catch up fast?

Can it be done, especially if we were never tech-savvy to begin with?

Lefevere gives his motivation behind the writing of “Better With Age”: “The impact of losing a job when you are most vulnerable, such as five to ten years from retirement, when you have financial responsibilities can be devastating, particularly if you are in the ‘sandwich’ situation: supporting children/grandchildren and also your parents. The threat of losing the job can be just as stressful, and possibly more so….If you’re not up-to-date digitally, these stresses can increase even more.”

Personally, I know I’ve taken some steps in the right direction, but I also know I’m a dinosaur in many areas. (I can hear a niece and nephew laughing.) I try to keep up with what need to know in my profession, but often hear new terms and lingo and wonder what the heck is that, and do I really need to know?

But often, the answer is yes. I do need to know. I need to do some research, read an industry publication, and/or call on someone a lot smarter than me and get the dirt. I owe that to those I do business with. And I don’t want to be left behind.

But there are some things about which I remain stubborn.

I don’t like the idea of always being reachable by text, email, or a phone call. (Is it really so vital that it needs to be handled this exact instant?)

I don’t like seeing the act of thinking being replaced by a software product that will take care of that for me. (A turn of a phrase…an illustration…an original design…you can’t replace the value of considering how something feels in your gut. That’s what pencils and erasers are for.)

I really don’t like trying to have a meeting, business call, or working luncheon and know that everyone is playing with their devices while we’re supposed to be sharing ideas and information. (Doing one thing at a time really does bring better results, you whippersnappers!)

Still, if you are faced with the stress of being unable to keep up in your profession, it can feel overwhelming. What’s good to know is that you can keep learning, no matter your age.

Most of us older adults learn best with one-on-one, hands-on teaching. We like to learn things in small bites. I confess I’ve always been this way…show me, let me try it, and don’t give me 20 new things at once.

Chances are, you already know more than you think you do…you may drive with a GPS in your car. Check the stock market on your smartphone. See your grandbaby over Skype. Play computer games.

So maybe it’s taking an adult education course, either in person or online. Reading some computer magazines. Spending a few hours in the library. Meeting with someone willing to walk you through some new technological opportunities.

Lefevere has this message for boomers: “You cannot let age discrimination and/or falling behind digitally force you out of the workplace. Don’t ever give up. There are benefits in terms of knowledge and experience that make you ‘Better With Age.'”

You can do it. And of course, as the older and wiser person in the scenario, you can be a great example to a younger person of the value of listening, thinking, and working hard.

“Everybody gets so much information all day long that they lose their common sense.”

Gertrude Stein

Are you where you thought you would be?

02/05/2015 / Laura

Ever have a moment when you really stop and think about where you are in life?

It can be kind of scary, especially if you’re well over 50 and sometimes it feels like the hourglass is running a bit too fast.

I confess to these moments, which seem to come in clusters. I’ll be going along without a bump, and then have one of those afternoons or weekends that makes me stop and think too much.

How did I get to this age this fast?

When is my “real life” going to start?

How much time is left, and what do I want to accomplish?

Then all the doubts come in, like the flying monkeys from Wizard of Oz. What if I’m too old already. Too tired. Not smart enough. Not in the best shape. Short on cash. Lack the confidence. It’s so easy to go global on self-doubt, and it can be particularly frustrating because now that we’re older, we’re supposed to be wiser about all this stuff, right?

Sometimes.

Part of me knows that wherever I am, what I’m right where I am supposed to be. Author, philosopher, and scientist Emmet Fox calls it your “right place.” Your actions have brought you here, so it’s not “wrong”.

But Fox also talks about our “true place”…where our soul hungers to be. That’s the hard one sometimes. Because, as a quote says that I have on my wall, “if you find a way of life you love, you have to have the courage to live it.”

I understand that. You can answer that calling inside of you and take that daring step…move across country, completely change professions, end or begin a relationship…get past the fear, get settled in, know it’s right, and then….

Now what?

The days of doubt still come. The fearful thoughts still pop up like uninvited guests in your dreams. You start to wonder if being so brave was really foolish. Maybe you should have stayed where you were. After all, you know how to do that. This new stuff, this living your dream, is something you weren’t trained for.

Thoreau talks about building castles in the air. Goethe says genius waits for us. Joseph Campbell tells us to go forward. Eleanor Roosevelt said we must do the things we think we cannot do.

Quite a heady group. Still I wonder, surely they had their moments of “did I do the right thing?”

Maybe it’s all part of being human, while trying to connect with our spirit. And maybe the bravest thing of all is to realize that we always have freedom to change our path. Go a different direction. Even if that sometimes means going back…that’s not the same as going backwards.

Because we’re not the same person we were when we started this journey.

What do you think? How do you handle your moments of doubt? I would sincerely like to know, because I think these are things we are often afraid to talk about, yet they can be the important questions we face.

“Where your attention is, there is your destiny.”

Emmet Fox

Cruel shoes?

01/29/2015 / Laura

Are you still torturing yourself with uncomfortable shoes?

I’m not just saying this to women, but men as well. Seems many of us are still doing this, though you’d think by now we would know better.

I am a card-carrying member of the plantar fasciitis club, so my days of sexy shoes are over, unless they can handle orthotics. It’s always such fun to try on shoes in a store and have to pull out the footbed that comes with the shoe, whip out my orthotics, and see if I then can get my feet in them. Thank God these days you can actually find attractive shoes that can handle the challenge.

But all those thin, crazy shoes that put women’s feet a vertical position?

Not no way, not no how. And why would I, even if I could?

Turns out, not surprisingly, foot pain and disorders are some of the most common ailments of people over 50. Maybe it’s because some have worn painful shoes their whole lives. Maybe it’s that their shoes don’t fit (podiatrists say this is much more common than you would think).

Maybe some people just think they have to live with pain because they are over 50, 60, 70….etc.

Pshaw!

Consider the foot. 26 bones. 33 joints. More than 120 muscles, ligaments, tendons and nerves. Your feet get you going. Absorb the shock of hitting the ground with each step. Give you balance. Let you dance, kick a ball, pick up marbles when you’re bored, stroke a cat’s fur. Feel the warmth of sand on a relaxing beach. And for me maybe most importantly, let me hike all over beautiful mountain and desert trails.

So why don’t we take better care of them?

I almost can’t look at photos of women wearing the vertical stilettos…it makes my own feet hurt. I sincerely wish more women in the public eye would just go ahead and say, “Look, most women’s shoes are ridiculous. Let’s all admit that, wear something that doesn’t destroy our feet, and move on to what’s really important, like lunch.” I don’t think that’s going to happen.

Instead, some women just insist on continuing the fantasy. More power to you, but just have the facts. WebMD lists the consequences of wearing these torture devices: knots on the back of the heel, blisters, swelling, bursitis, hairline fractures and more. Even ballet flats can be bad, as they provide no arch support and can lead to knee, hip, and back problems.

Remember Steve Martin’s “Cruel Shoes”?

Anna knew She had to have a new pair of shoes today, and Carlo had helped her try on every pair in the store. Carlo spoke wearily, “Well, that’s it. That’s every pair of shoes in the place.”

“Oh, you must have one more pair….”

“No, not one more… . Well, we have the cruel shoes, but no one would want to try…

“Yes, let me see the cruel shoes!”

“No, you don’t understand, you see, the cruel shoes are…’

“Get them!”

Carlo disappeared into the back room for a moment, and then reappeared carrying an ordinary shoebox. He took off the lid and re-moved a hideous pair of black and white pumps. But this was not an ordinary pair of black and white pumps; both were left feet, one had a right angle turn with separate compartments that pointed the toes in impossible directions. The other shoe was six inches long and was curved inward like a rocking chair with a vise and razor blades to hold the foot in place.

Carlo spoke hesitantly, “… Now you see… they’re not fit for humans…”

“Put them on me.”

“But…”

“Put them on me!”

Carlo knew all arguments were useless. He knelt down before her and forced the feet into the shoes.

The screams were incredible.

Anna crawled over to the mirror and held her bloody feet up where she could see.

“I like them.”

She paid Carlo and crawled out of the store into the street.

Later that day, Carlo was overheard saying to a new customer, “Well, that’s it. That’s every pair of shoes in the place. Unless, of course, you’d like to try the cruel shoes.”

And it’s not just women. Some men seem to want to suffer too.

The American College of Foot and Ankle Surgeons say men are also walking in their version of cruel shoes. First, there’s the pointy-toed shoe, which many men are sporting. Great if you enjoy hammer toes bunions and pain.

Then there are men’s sandals, which because many of them do not offer the right support, are causing heel pain, tendonitis, pain in the big toe and stress fractures. The ACFAS recommends men instead choose a sandal with a sturdy, cushioned sole and padded straps. (And if you’re suffering from diabetes, check with your podiatrist before wearing sandals.)

Fashion and style are great. But being comfortable trumps it all and is possible (even for women) without looking like a line repairman. There’s some great looking and truly harmless shoes out there.

I always think of “The Emperor’s New Clothes” when I see someone wearing something I know is killing them, but they just smile and act like all is well as they attempt to walk without falling face first into a fruit stand.

Now that we’re older, and wiser, and our feet have carried this far, can we give them a break? What’s on your feet?