Category: Uncategorized (Page 18 of 39)

Keeping your cool.

05/31/2018 / Laura

First, it’s hot. Just plain hot. Too hot.

I know it depends on where you live, but chances are, you’re already sweating more than you’d like by now. And it’s only the first few days of June. Egads.

Second, it’s harder for us over 50 when it gets this hot. We tend not to realize we are thirsty as soon as those who are younger, so we have to keep a water bottle with us and drink from it all day long. Really. Sip it every few minutes and you might keep from getting dehydrated or at least a blinding headache. The heat also just makes you feel weak and listless. You run out of gas halfway through a task (and this is when you are inside, usually in air conditioning).

Listen to your body. Rest. Get cool. Wait until dusk to cut the grass or clean out the trunk of your car. it’s just not worth it.

But even more than the seasonal heat, everything seems hotter right now. The air is filled with hateful tweets. Angry vices take over the news. Irritating political commercials make outlandish claims and force us to listen to people we would never give the time of day to if we sat next to them at the office. It all makes you want to find a shady place by a mountain stream and put your bare feet in the water, close your eyes and just feel that gift of peace.

You can’t make people stop spreading their heated words. But you can turn down their volume. Or better yet, hit the mute button.

Turn the channel.

Don’t read the angry Facebook post.

Delete the email with the doctored photos.

Walk away from the person who wants to tell you the racist joke, since it seems to all be “okay” these days to mimic very, very very behavior set by those in power.

Turn away.

Instead, breathe some cool air. Have some iced green tea. Listen to your favorite sonata. Sit with a grandchild in the grass and string together some clover. Buy a popsicle and sit on your front porch and enjoy it. Watch the lightning bugs at night.

Take back your summer. Take it where you want it to go.

Let them rave. You’ve heard it all before. Hot air doesn’t last long. Heated words blow back on those who choose to spread hateful messages. You know better.

Put down the phone. You won’t miss anything important. And you might create some wonderful open moments for other things to happen.

You carry your treasure within. Let yourself enjoy it.

“Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sit still.

05/21/2018 / Laura

When was the last time you rested?

Really rested?

Turned off the phone?

Did not check for emails?

Did not check social media?

Put away your daily planner?

Sat still?

Opened the windows and listened to the wind?

Sat outside and watched the birds?

Pondered the clouds?

Just breathed?

We must rest.

It’s very important.

It’s when the answers come.

What if we all started right now…..?

“Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop.”

Ovid

Doer or waiter?

05/07/2018 / Laura

Which are you? A doer or a waiter?

A doer takes action. Decides what needs to be done and starts doing it, or gets out the phone book (gasp) and finds a person who can do it, or goes online and searches for the nearest location, or texts a friend and invites them to lunch and gives them a place and time, or decides the windows are dirty and picks up a rag and cleans them, or realizes he/she doesn’t know how to get to a certain place so he/she goes on Google maps and prints out the directions, or reads the instruction manual/directions/attends the class to learn how something works and how to maintain it, or cures loneliness by initiating get-togethers or just plain understands that happiness is an inside job.

A waiter waits for someone else to make the plans, to call the restaurant, to pick them up, to stand in line, to choose the movie, to go online and find concert tickets, to fix the disposal, to give them information about a subject so they don’t have to do the research, to supply directions to any new destination, to schedule the vacation, etc, etc, etc and feels life should come to them, because after all, they’ve “earned it” or they are too “old” to learn something new.

One is a pleasure to be around. One isn’t.

I”m not sure where the idea came from that at a certain age, things are just supposed to come to you. All I can say, is good luck with that. I’ve not found that to be true. If you don’t like your job, quit or change your attitude. If you hate your house, modify it or move. If you want to be up-to-date on all the latest computer software or surround sound systems with blu-ray, research it online, pick up some electronics magazines or go to a retailer and ask questions.

Older people can still learn. We aren’t idiots. And when we shrug our shoulders and say how all this gosh darn newfangled stuff is above us, we are bringing ourselves and everyone else over 50 down to a false low level.

Now if you choose not to learn, that’s your decision. But imagine when you were in third grade and your teacher gave you an assignment to go to the library and read about George Washington…and you told her “Gee, there were so many books, it just made me tired. So I just decided I couldn’t pick one. Instead, I figured you would read me one. Okay teacher?”

What do you think she would have said to you?

Learning new things is hard. Taking the initiative takes energy. But that’s what separates us from amoeba. And it’s hard enough to get the younger set to see us as equals many times, much less as wise sources of guidance and wisdom, without us throwing in the towel before we’ve even tried.

We are still in the game. We have the freedom and the ability to create an interesting and rewarding life around us.

So why wouldn’t we??

“Nothing will work unless you do.”

Maya Angelou

Walking each other home.

04/30/2018 / Laura

Life is so fragile. Every moment is precious. All around, there are people whose life has frozen in time…bad news about a loved one. Eviction. Divorce. A frightening diagnosis. Loss of a child. Maybe a business failure or money crisis that feels like there is no way out.

As baby boomers and beyond, we’ve had our share. And while it would be nice to think now we get to enjoy life, the joke is somewhat on us, or so I’ve found. Life does not easier. In fact, with the challenges of aging, it might get a lot harder. And more painful. So where’s the hope?

I think it’s in the fact that we are wiser, we are survivors, and we understand what is important, and what is not.

And I would hope, we cherish what—and who—is most important to us. Because as someone very wise said, “We’re all just walking each other home.”

I like that. I like the idea that when we’re at our most desperate, spirits appear around us who can lead us forward. Maybe we can see them—a dear friend, a spouse, even a beloved pet. And maybe they are invisible…but I believe they are just as real as ever. They’ve loved us, and they’re still with us.

It’s so hard to get frightening news. And it’s also so hard to know someone you love just got that news. But now’s when you channel your fear into something helpful. Like listening, really listening when they need it most. Giving them the opportunity to be sad, be angry, be profane or anything else they choose.

A friend who was over 80 died a few weeks ago. She was truly an amazing person her whole life, overcoming the suicide of a brother and a daughter. She was intelligent and talented. A published author and accomplished musician. She embraced the challenges of learning technology that was barely a dream when she was born. She never stopped growing. And she didn’t let her pain stop her.

What I liked most about her was she was fully human. I think we forget how to do that sometimes…to just be. To know that who we are is enough. We can learn and refine and strengthen and enhance, but in the end, who we are is who we are. And it wasn’t a mistake (unless we use our skills to hurt others).

And maybe most importantly, we can use our humanity to be there for someone else in crisis…someone who shouldn’t have to be any braver, any calmer, or any nicer than they feel. Because we love them. And because they are us. And because they might be needing us to let things get messy. Listen to Fred Rogers (Mr. Rogers):

“Confronting our feelings and giving them appropriate expression always takes strength, not weakness…. It takes strength to face our sadness and to grieve and to let our grief and our anger flow in tears when they need to. It takes strength to talk about our feelings and to reach out for help and comfort when we need it.”

We’re all aging. We’re all going to die (it always amazes me how many people really think they won’t.) We all have limited time. So maybe now’s the time to turn back to the basics…the skills you first learned.

Hold hands when you cross the street.

Be nice to your neighbor.

Brush your teeth.

Take naps.

Be kind to animals.

Love from the heart. We’re all on a journey…a journey that I believe leads somewhere glorious…and it’s good to remember that how we help one another along the way really does matter.