Category: Uncategorized (Page 36 of 40)

Where were you in 62?

04/13/2015 / Laura

The movie American Graffiti asked us that question many years ago, bringing back memories of great cars, greasy hair, and rock and roll. We boomers love to be nostalgic, and who can blame us?

A lot of significant events have taken place during our lives that shaped American culture.

In his book “Boomers Rock Again”, author Sanford Holst looks at the 1960s, 1970s and 1980s, focusing mainly on some of the remarkable people who grew up among us—77 of them to be exact. He also showcases some of the events, movies, television shows, music and more from our favorite era.

Here’s a few tidbits from Holst’s book that might surprise you:

Pat Benatar’s first job was a bank teller.

Richard Branson’s headmaster predicted he would either end up in prison, or become a millionaire.

Sandra Bullock was a cheerleader.

George Clooney tried out for the Cincinnati Reds.

Richard Gere was awarded a gymnastics scholarship for college but turned it down.

Samuel L. Jackson was active in Civil Rights protests in the late 1960s.

Liam Neeson took up boxing at the age of nine.

Denzel Washington played basketball for Fordham University.

It’s fun to look back at the beginning of people’s careers, because we all remember how different we were when we were coming of age.

For sure, growing up in these decades—including the late 1940s and 1950s—was anything but dull.

And it can be easy to romance the past, forgetting about all the struggles, unrest, violence, assassinations and chaos that occurred then as well.

Still, I think it was a fascinating era. What are some of your favorite memories?

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.”

Robert Brault

Where did I put the….

04/09/2015 / Laura

Doctors tell us that regular forgetfulness is quite normal as we get older and nothing to worry about. Yet we do worry, even if we fully understand that misplacing a phone number or the gym pass is not the same as a serious cognitive issue such as dementia or early Alzheimer’s.

More than anything, it’s just maddening sometimes to realize that once again, we have forgotten or “lost” something. Our keys. Our wallet. Whether the iron is on or not. Or where we put the hammer.

And we just had it in our hands.

In “Pure Drivel,” Steve Martin puts it well:

“Bored? Here’s a way the over-fifty set can easily kill off a good half hour:

Place your car keys in your right hand
With your left hand, call a friend and confirm a lunch or dinner date.
Hang up the phone.
Now, look for your keys.”

Perfect. I can so relate. How can I possibly walk two feet into a room and lose something? How does a slip of paper with an important phone number just vaporize on my desk? How can I drive to the park with the dog and then realize her leash is at home?

My dog would love to know the answer to that one.

There are those who suggest making lists. Want to remember what to pick up at the grocery? Make a list. Where’s the list? On the kitchen counter.

At least I think it is…I know I put it somewhere.

Harvard Medical School says there’s lot of reasons why we can’t remember things, and not all of them are bad. For example, forgetting facts or events over time….this is considered to be a good thing because the brain is clearing itself of unused memories, making way for newer ones.

And granted, as we age, we have lots and lots of memories that could be taking up too much space in the file cabinet in our head.

Also, just not paying enough attention can keep you from remembering. Were you talking to your neighbor when you put the pen down? Then chances are you don’t know where it is when you need it. Or were you talking to yourself about the 13 things you need to get done that day?

No wonder the iron is still on.

Scientists also say it’s quite normal that we sometimes remember part of a memory accurately, but get a name wrong, or the location isn’t correct. It’s just another of the happy effects of aging. In this case, it’s our memories that are aging.

Then there’s the theory that the rate at which we acquire new information slows as we age, so we may think we’ve forgotten something, but it was never stored in memory in the first place. The good news is, scientists say that while it may take us wise old owls a bit longer to learn something, once we do, we can recall it just as quickly as a younger person.

I’m glad to know it’s okay to be forgetful, but it still can drive me crazy, and sometimes it can be dangerous for us boomers and beyond.

Did we lock the door? Is the fire pit out? Did we remember to fill up the gas tank? Is our laptop on the roof of the car?

As with many things, I sometimes think it’s more a matter of slowing down. Focusing on the moment. Doing one thing at a time. Getting enough sleep and eating healthy (darn). And cutting myself a break.

We’ve learned a lot. So we’re bound to forget some of it. If you have some tips for keeping your memory sharp, or how to not be so absent-minded, please share. I could use the suggestions.

Just ask my dog.

“Man needs forgetfulness as well as memory.”

James Stephens

Retiring your way.

04/02/2015 / Laura

Retirement is a lot like graduation. Some people know exactly where they are going and want to accomplish. Others are undecided, or just want to take some time off.

Whatever a person chooses is just fine…after all, it’s their retirement.

I think that’s important to remember. It’s easy to sit on the sidelines and badger someone who’s considering retiring…what are you going to do next? You’re not just going to sit around, are you? Won’t you get bored?

Consider for a moment that this person may not be sure what he or she wants next. After working a lifetime in any profession, it’s natural and healthy to just want to be still long enough to let your mind clear. Let long-hidden dreams or desires come to the surface. See where your instincts lead you.

If a person does choose to immediately fill their time with a second job, volunteer work, or a new project, that’s fine too. But again, it’s a personal choice. I really think our society has somehow made it a sin to acknowledge that we need time to be quiet. To recover.

To let our minds wander without checking our cell phones.

And then there’s the whole misconception about retirement. To me, it’s more of a change of life, a new direction, a rebooting.

It’s not dropping off a cliff.

It’s not a hard stop.

It’s an off-ramp that could lead you to some wonderful, never-before-discovered treasures.

So let the wind take you where it may. On your schedule, when you are ready.

You’ve followed a daily routine for 30+ years. Now you can eat breakfast and read the paper without running out the door.

You’ve fought rush hour traffic, driven in snowstorms, and raced to meetings across town. Now you can go for a walk before lunch.

You’ve run for flights, lost your baggage, endured terrible hotels, and made enough presentations before bored audiences. Now you can decide to drive to a park tomorrow and have lunch.

You’ve missed soccer games, recitals, anniversary dinners, and reunions. Now you control your time.

You’ve postponed reading great books, missed all the latest movies, and never made it up late enough to watch the show on PBS. Now you can take a book outside and read as long as you choose.

You’ve worked for it. You’ve earned it. And now you are ready for what could be the best phase of your life.

So don’t let anyone rush you into anything. It took you a long time to get here. Just enjoy. Look around. Breathe. Lean back.

Throw that virtual mortar board in the air…you made it!!!

“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.”

Seneca

Friendship never grows old.

03/30/2015 / Laura

Making new friends…do you find that easy to do? Do you stay in touch with many old friends, or just a few? (sorry about the rhyming.)

If you’ve moved across the country, changed jobs, divorced or undergone any major life change, finding new friends—and keeping the old—can be a challenge. When we’re younger, there seem to be so many opportunities to meet others who share our interests. But it can get a lot tougher as we age.

I remember years ago working with a person who said, “I have enough friends. I don’t need any more.” This person was probably 40. I was so taken aback by that statement; I couldn’t imagine not wanting to add new friends to my life.

I’ve been fortunate in that even though I did move to a new part of the country, I have made a few very precious new friends. And just as satisfying is keeping friendships alive that I had at my previous address. In fact, there are a few friends I’ve not seen since I was a child.

What is it that makes one friendship stick, while another fades away?

For me, changing my life taught me many things about friendships. One big lesson was how much I value people who are giving, caring, and interested in others. They’re the ones you can count on when things are bleak. They’re not just your pals when you have a great job, live in a cool city, or have good connections. They’re the ones who will sit with you when cry about a lost love, rage over an unfair boss, or worry over an aging parent.

And when you have a friend like that, you for sure want him or her in your life always.

Some studies suggest we are friends with people who look like us (I’m not so sure about this). Other studies say there’s some genetic connection; that we sense others with a similar gene makeup. Then there’s the whole theory behind how we often become friends with those we see a great deal, whether through work or church or sitting in a coffee shop every Tuesday.

I’d like to think that as we become older, we are better at seeing past the superficial and choosing a friend simply on who he or she is…a good person. Someone we want to spend time with. And someone who is willing to drive us to the airport, sit in a hospital waiting room, and listen to our bad jokes (as we should do for them).

And just as importantly, I hope that I have learned enough to be a great friend myself.

Research tells us how good for us good friends are, especially if we’re over 50. Having a good friend boosts our immune system, increases our “feel good” hormones, reduces stress and pain, lessens grief, and even helps protect against dementia.

For sure, some “friendships” are not good for us. I have had some, and I’ll bet you know the type. They talk a good game, but they’re not around when a good friend would be. Or they suddenly just drop you like a hot potato. As a wise man once said, life is too short…just walk away.

Have your ideas about friendship changed as you’ve grown older? What do you think makes a truly great friend?