Category: Uncategorized (Page 39 of 40)

Turning the page.

02/19/2015 / Laura

I confess. I’m a book nerd. I still love old-fashioned hold-in-my-hand books.

With paper pages, bindings, covers, and inside flaps. I love how a book feels in my hand, how it smells, how smooth the pages feel.

I love opening a new book for the first time. Entering its world and dipping my toes in its wonder and promise. Using a bookmark to hold my place or dog-earing a page if I feel I’ll be coming back to a section again and again.

I like giving other people books and writing a dedication in them.

So no, I’m not an e-reader by first choice. I don’t Kindle. I don’t Nook. It just feels at bit cold and impersonal to me. I know there are good reasons to go electronic: e-books are easier for travel, lighter to carry, don’t take up space on a shelf, and so on. Great. Enjoy.

I happen to like the whole tactile relationship I have with a book. For me, the weight of the paper, width of the page, choice of font, and placement of photos or illustrations is part of the author’s message. After all, some suffering fool agonized over these words for possibly years. I think reading it merits more action than a few clicks.

Yes, I’m a baby boomer, so maybe having Dick and Jane as my first literary introduction has something to do with it. But actually I’ve met others who love books and they’re quite young…they’re not ready to go completely touchscreen yet.

Thank heavens.

I can’t even imagine an elementary classroom with children asked to pull out their readers and then the clicking begins.

I cherish the books I loved as a child, and still have many of them. The Mother West Wind Stories by Thornton W. Burgess. Raggedy Ann, Charlotte’s Web, and Alice in Wonderland. Countless books about horses and animals. Poetry and inspiration. Some have inscriptions from my mother. Others bring back memories of summer afternoons made even more pleasant by wonderful stories. I sincerely hope future generations can have these experiences. Because I just think some books are meant to be just that…books.

Case in point. I have a copy of Cosmigraphics by Michael Benson, a wonderful coffee-table book that looks at the discovery of the universe through breathtaking maps, illustrations, paintings, and more that span 1,000 years. The images are amazing and command a large page. It’s a thrill to leaf through. I don’t think I’d get the same effect on a small screen.

But alas, things have changed, and for many authors, being published online is an opportunity to get their work out there to new audiences. I appreciate that, and applaud anyone who’s published a book in any form. But it just seems a it too easy, when so many great writers struggle and agonize for years just to get the attention of an agent, much less a publisher. (Like when we were all told that the Evelyn Wood method of speed-reading was so wonderful….and someone asked, “but what about the writer who spent days deciding between a comma or a period? Won’t that get missed in a supersonic reading speed?)

Still, I hope and pray that books stick around and independent book stores still are there for those of us who love getting lost in them. MacDonald Bookshop in Estes Park, Colorado. Collected Works in Santa Fe, New Mexico. Kramerbooks & Afterwords Cafe in Washington, D.C. Burke’s Bookstore in Memphis, Tennessee. To name a few.

That’s my story. Read any good books lately?

“We should read to give our souls a chance to luxuriate.”

Henry Miller

Why are we telling lies?

02/16/2015 / Laura

There’s lots of talk about the truth lately. Truth in the media. Truth in journalism. Truth in advertising. Truth in so-called reality shows, books, and the such.

When did it get so hard to tell the difference between a lie and the truth?

When did truth have, as one character in a movie said, “versions”?

It was pretty simple when I was a child. You either told the truth, or you were telling a lie. The size of the lie didn’t matter. A lie was a lie was a lie. It meant you had done something wrong, and you were about to be in big trouble.

Because they always found out.

Some people carry lies better than others. You can’t tell by looking at them, although scientists say we can if we look for the right signs. They call it a “microexpression”, usually a 25^th of a second, which is actually concealing the truth. A person lying might get a very fast flash of anger, fear, or jealousy on his or her face. It’s pretty hard to detect, since it happens so fast.

I’ve also heard a liar will blink more. Fidgit more. But one thing they usually do not do is break their glance. They’re happy to look you in the eye and tell a fib.

But that’s not really the issue. What’s amazing is how effortless it is for some to lie. How it becomes easier over time.

How if we tell a lie often enough, we start to believe it is the truth.

Studies say a fifth of social exchanges lasting 10 or more minutes involve at least one lie. Want to spot someone lying about a good hand in poker? Check their feet. Wiggling feet usually means a good hand, while a sudden freeze in the feet indicates a bluff. (You can figure out how to explain why you’re looking under the table.)

Have you ever given someone your ideal weight or age, instead of the actual one? Have you ever told a friend her haircut looks great, when you know it’s a disaster?

Ever told your boss or client you’d love to work all night on a project, when secretly you’d rather drown in fire ants?

Is it a lie when you S-T-R-E-T-C-H the truth to avoid hurting someone?

And then there’s the matter of size. Are there big lies and small lies? Do small lies not count as much? (I have a feeling the IRS could weigh in on this.) And of course we lie to ourselves…about our health, our happiness, our disappointments.

I’m usually not surprised when I hear about famous people lying, whether it’s a sports figure, entertainer, or other public figure. And though my roots are in journalism, I’ve lost a lot of respect for the validity of what passes as the news these days. Still, it disappoints me a great deal. Truth and trust go together and when we lose one, the other isn’t far behind.

Maybe this is all part of growing older: growing more skeptical. What do you think? Really?

“If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.”

Mark Twain

Learning new technology.

02/09/2015 / Laura

In the e-book “Better With Age”, retired attorney-turned author John Lefevere spins a tale of a technologically deficient baby boomer fearful of losing his executive position in an upcoming merger. He decides to turn the tables on the younger executives who want him out, and begins secretly educating himself on everything from smartphones to sending tweets and beyond.

What happens next?

Scandal, death, and vindication…just another day in the corporate world! But it brings up an interesting question for anyone of boomer age and beyond:

What do we do when everyone around us seems to be light years ahead in technology—and we need to catch up fast?

Can it be done, especially if we were never tech-savvy to begin with?

Lefevere gives his motivation behind the writing of “Better With Age”: “The impact of losing a job when you are most vulnerable, such as five to ten years from retirement, when you have financial responsibilities can be devastating, particularly if you are in the ‘sandwich’ situation: supporting children/grandchildren and also your parents. The threat of losing the job can be just as stressful, and possibly more so….If you’re not up-to-date digitally, these stresses can increase even more.”

Personally, I know I’ve taken some steps in the right direction, but I also know I’m a dinosaur in many areas. (I can hear a niece and nephew laughing.) I try to keep up with what need to know in my profession, but often hear new terms and lingo and wonder what the heck is that, and do I really need to know?

But often, the answer is yes. I do need to know. I need to do some research, read an industry publication, and/or call on someone a lot smarter than me and get the dirt. I owe that to those I do business with. And I don’t want to be left behind.

But there are some things about which I remain stubborn.

I don’t like the idea of always being reachable by text, email, or a phone call. (Is it really so vital that it needs to be handled this exact instant?)

I don’t like seeing the act of thinking being replaced by a software product that will take care of that for me. (A turn of a phrase…an illustration…an original design…you can’t replace the value of considering how something feels in your gut. That’s what pencils and erasers are for.)

I really don’t like trying to have a meeting, business call, or working luncheon and know that everyone is playing with their devices while we’re supposed to be sharing ideas and information. (Doing one thing at a time really does bring better results, you whippersnappers!)

Still, if you are faced with the stress of being unable to keep up in your profession, it can feel overwhelming. What’s good to know is that you can keep learning, no matter your age.

Most of us older adults learn best with one-on-one, hands-on teaching. We like to learn things in small bites. I confess I’ve always been this way…show me, let me try it, and don’t give me 20 new things at once.

Chances are, you already know more than you think you do…you may drive with a GPS in your car. Check the stock market on your smartphone. See your grandbaby over Skype. Play computer games.

So maybe it’s taking an adult education course, either in person or online. Reading some computer magazines. Spending a few hours in the library. Meeting with someone willing to walk you through some new technological opportunities.

Lefevere has this message for boomers: “You cannot let age discrimination and/or falling behind digitally force you out of the workplace. Don’t ever give up. There are benefits in terms of knowledge and experience that make you ‘Better With Age.'”

You can do it. And of course, as the older and wiser person in the scenario, you can be a great example to a younger person of the value of listening, thinking, and working hard.

“Everybody gets so much information all day long that they lose their common sense.”

Gertrude Stein

Give Your Time This Season.

12/04/2014 / Laura

The season of giving is upon us, and with it, many opportunities to be overwhelmed, depressed, and caught in countless traffic jams. As we get older it’s a little easier to understand Ebenezer Scrooge’s mood with all the frenzy that is happening around us. Or if we’re alone or far from family, it can feel very lonely.

A surefire way to turn this around: help someone. Give your time, your talent, and your wisdom to make a difference in someone else’s life.

It really isn’t that hard to do and it could be the greatest gift you ever give—or receive.

But what can I do, you say? You’re retired, it’s been years since you’ve been in the workplace, and you really don’t think you have any skills anyone can use.

Say that to Tom Frazier, director of Blues City Thrift in Memphis, Tennessee, and he’ll tell you otherwise. Just a few years ago, Tom’s days were filled with hard drives, software upgrades, and his customers who were often in frantic need of his company’s computer maintenance genius. (I was one of them.)

Then after moving on from that business and taking a few months off, Tom found himself without a next step—and he didn’t like it.

“My mantra for years has been that retirement is not necessarily a good thing, but change is,” says Tom. “ I’ve always felt change is as good as a vacation. I realized that I had forgotten that—so I made some changes.” This included volunteering to pick up and drive Veterans needing to visit the local Veterans Hospital. He also volunteered with an urban farmers market in Binghampton, a Memphis neighborhood.

But then along came an opportunity that Tom didn’t expect, but which gave him an opportunity to use his managerial skills and his desire to be of service to others—creating a nice, neat, quality thrift store where the proceeds go to help other Memphis charities.

In other words, a business that makes money to give to charities…hence the store’s tagline, “Thrifty Goods for a Greater Good.”

Tom started working with Blues City Thrift before it even had a location…as a part-time employee driving a large truck to pick up donated items and deliver them to donated warehouse space. “That was a humbling experience for me,” he says. Fast-forward to today’s Blues City Thrift…almost 13,000 clean and well-arranged square feet holding a range of items for sale. The store employs a few individuals who have had trouble finding work elsewhere, and also has several volunteers.

“I really enjoy coming into contact with many people I might never have met, people who are definitely struggling or just want to make their dollars stretch more. Maybe they need a $10 suit for an interview. Or they’d like their house to look nicer but they can’t afford a big department store. Blues City Thrift is nice, neat, well-lit and organized…and you can still get a pair of $2.99 jeans.”

Tom isn’t new to helping others. His past includes serving as a missionary on a voyage bringing books to schools in over 40 underdeveloped countries in Africa and Asia. He still finds being of service uplifting and energizing.

“At Blues City Thrift, we are sometimes offered items that we can’t accept, because our standards are too high. In those cases, we give dozens of bags of items to ministries all over town who serve the homeless. We recycle everything. The work is challenging and never boring…I enjoy it so much I hate to take a day off!”

For a person who is still employed full-time, donating several hours a week to a charity or organization may not be possible. But like Tom says, if someone is feeling left out, just sitting at home all day, watching television, surfing the web, trying to figure out what to do with empty hours…there are so many agencies and charities that need a person’s time and talent.

Everyone has a skill. That’s what we boomers are known for!

Maybe you know bookkeeping. How to arrange a shelf. You might excel at greeting people with a smile. Stacking a box or two. Pouring cups of coffee. Doing inventory. Helping someone get to the doctor. Several hours a week, a few hours on Saturday, whatever your schedule allows. As Tom says, it’s so important and humanizing to lend a hand to people who are having a hard time at the moment…and anybody can do it.

Don’t think you are too old, or too out of touch, or too set in your ways. I think nothing energizes us like getting out of ourselves and getting into helping another.

And research tells us helping others is good for us.

Studies have linked helping others to a decreased mortality risk, especially when there is a social connection involved. It begins a “cycle” of giving that continues in you. Generosity is a key factor in a happy marriage. Simply put, helping others feels good…and it’s good for your health.

“I kind of backed into this opportunity,” says Tom. “I had never even been in a thrift store, and now I love what I am doing. My wife, Sandra, is working here as well, so we’re together every day. In fact, we’re more in love than ever.” Tom, who is turning 64 this month, also recently produced a CD of songs he’s been writing since the 1970s. “Funny what you can still do!”

So give it a thought. Tis’ the season to give. Maybe there’s a part of you that would make a tremendous gift for someone else. Maybe in 2015 you decide you’re going to spend a few hours outside your comfort zone making a difference. Just imagine what you could receive!