Author: Laura (Page 48 of 55)

The Road More Traveled

04/20/2015 / Laura

“When I was very young and the urge to be someplace else was on me, I was assured by mature people that maturity would cure this itch. When years described me as mature, the remedy prescribed was middle age. In middle age I was assured that greater age would calm my fever and now that I am fifty-eight perhaps senility will do the job. Nothing has worked. Four hoarse blasts of a ship’s whistle still raise the hair on my neck and set my feet to tapping. The sound of a jet, an engine warming up, even the clopping of shod hooves on pavement brings on the ancient shudder, the dry mouth and vacant eye, the hot palms and the church of stomach high up under the rib cage. In other words, I don’t improve; in further words, once a bum always a bum. I fear the disease is incurable. I set this matter down not to instruct others but to inform myself.” John Steinbeck, opening of “Travels With Charley.”

One of my favorite books. I first read it many many years ago when I was a girl sitting outside on summer days thinking about all the places I had never seen, and how much fun it would be to just travel when I wanted without a care. I always had a kind of wanderlust, maybe because our family moved every few years, or maybe because my soul was just always looking over the horizon.

The need to keep moving, to explore the unknown—do we, as John stated so eloquently, ever really grow out of it?

Or do we just compromise, and tell that part of us to be quiet. That we have to grow up now and be “responsible.”

In “Travels With Charley”, Steinbeck does take off in an old camper he calls Rocinante with his beloved canine companion, Charley. Together the pair really does travel all over and meet all kinds of people. An excerpt:

“You going in that?”

“Sure.”

“Where?”

“All over.”

“And then I saw what I was to see so many times on the journey—a look of longing. “Lord! I wish I could go.”

“You don’t even know where I’m going.”

“I don’t care. I’d like to go anywhere.”

Are we all born with this traveling bug, but many of us lose it over time? I wonder. I never really did, though I didn’t always get to take off on grand adventures. When I finally realized it was time to start seeing the places I longed to see, I did it…and many times I just took of on my own. That really freaked out a lot of people. It still does.

Aren’t you scared? What if something happens? What if you get bored? What if you get lonely? Aren’t you terrified to go somewhere completely new?

Here’s my theory:

A few butterflies in the stomach when you do something new is good for you.
Things can “happen” at any time, no matter how many people are with you.
Traveling isn’t boring for me, unless I’m stuck in an airport terminal for hours and hours.
And loneliness? You’d be amazed how many great conversations and impromptu dinners you can have with people you just met…if you aren’t already with someone at the time.

Fear is a good thing sometimes…it warns us, keeps us alert, can save our lives if we listen. But letting fear tell you that you can’t do something can be very suffocating. Take John Steinbeck. He relates in Travels With Charley that after driving all over the United States, he actually got lost when he tried to get back home. But he found his way.

We boomers and beyond like to travel. We’ve learned to take a larger view of the world. We like new experiences. Maybe that just means driving to a state park you’ve never seen. Or going to an arts festival in a beautiful location. If you want to be alone on a trip, you can be. But if you don’t, you’ll find many opportunities to be around others.

Here’s some stats on how boomers are affecting the travel market from immersionactive.com:

36% of leisure travel is done by mature travelers
60% of American boomers have their passports
80% of boomers want to visit a place they’ve never been before
Baby boomers account for 4 of 5 dollars spent on luxury travel today
On average, older adults will take four trips per year

So hey, if you’ve always wanted to see the Lincoln Memorial, or tour the Baseball Hall of Fame, or dip your toes in the Nile, and you have the means to do it, step through your fear and give it a go. You never know where the road will lead you—and if you get lost, maybe that’s what it takes to find your way home again.

We find that after years of struggle, we do not take a trip; a trip takes us.”

John Steinbeck

Where were you in 62?

04/13/2015 / Laura

The movie American Graffiti asked us that question many years ago, bringing back memories of great cars, greasy hair, and rock and roll. We boomers love to be nostalgic, and who can blame us?

A lot of significant events have taken place during our lives that shaped American culture.

In his book “Boomers Rock Again”, author Sanford Holst looks at the 1960s, 1970s and 1980s, focusing mainly on some of the remarkable people who grew up among us—77 of them to be exact. He also showcases some of the events, movies, television shows, music and more from our favorite era.

Here’s a few tidbits from Holst’s book that might surprise you:

Pat Benatar’s first job was a bank teller.

Richard Branson’s headmaster predicted he would either end up in prison, or become a millionaire.

Sandra Bullock was a cheerleader.

George Clooney tried out for the Cincinnati Reds.

Richard Gere was awarded a gymnastics scholarship for college but turned it down.

Samuel L. Jackson was active in Civil Rights protests in the late 1960s.

Liam Neeson took up boxing at the age of nine.

Denzel Washington played basketball for Fordham University.

It’s fun to look back at the beginning of people’s careers, because we all remember how different we were when we were coming of age.

For sure, growing up in these decades—including the late 1940s and 1950s—was anything but dull.

And it can be easy to romance the past, forgetting about all the struggles, unrest, violence, assassinations and chaos that occurred then as well.

Still, I think it was a fascinating era. What are some of your favorite memories?

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.”

Robert Brault

Where did I put the….

04/09/2015 / Laura

Doctors tell us that regular forgetfulness is quite normal as we get older and nothing to worry about. Yet we do worry, even if we fully understand that misplacing a phone number or the gym pass is not the same as a serious cognitive issue such as dementia or early Alzheimer’s.

More than anything, it’s just maddening sometimes to realize that once again, we have forgotten or “lost” something. Our keys. Our wallet. Whether the iron is on or not. Or where we put the hammer.

And we just had it in our hands.

In “Pure Drivel,” Steve Martin puts it well:

“Bored? Here’s a way the over-fifty set can easily kill off a good half hour:

Place your car keys in your right hand
With your left hand, call a friend and confirm a lunch or dinner date.
Hang up the phone.
Now, look for your keys.”

Perfect. I can so relate. How can I possibly walk two feet into a room and lose something? How does a slip of paper with an important phone number just vaporize on my desk? How can I drive to the park with the dog and then realize her leash is at home?

My dog would love to know the answer to that one.

There are those who suggest making lists. Want to remember what to pick up at the grocery? Make a list. Where’s the list? On the kitchen counter.

At least I think it is…I know I put it somewhere.

Harvard Medical School says there’s lot of reasons why we can’t remember things, and not all of them are bad. For example, forgetting facts or events over time….this is considered to be a good thing because the brain is clearing itself of unused memories, making way for newer ones.

And granted, as we age, we have lots and lots of memories that could be taking up too much space in the file cabinet in our head.

Also, just not paying enough attention can keep you from remembering. Were you talking to your neighbor when you put the pen down? Then chances are you don’t know where it is when you need it. Or were you talking to yourself about the 13 things you need to get done that day?

No wonder the iron is still on.

Scientists also say it’s quite normal that we sometimes remember part of a memory accurately, but get a name wrong, or the location isn’t correct. It’s just another of the happy effects of aging. In this case, it’s our memories that are aging.

Then there’s the theory that the rate at which we acquire new information slows as we age, so we may think we’ve forgotten something, but it was never stored in memory in the first place. The good news is, scientists say that while it may take us wise old owls a bit longer to learn something, once we do, we can recall it just as quickly as a younger person.

I’m glad to know it’s okay to be forgetful, but it still can drive me crazy, and sometimes it can be dangerous for us boomers and beyond.

Did we lock the door? Is the fire pit out? Did we remember to fill up the gas tank? Is our laptop on the roof of the car?

As with many things, I sometimes think it’s more a matter of slowing down. Focusing on the moment. Doing one thing at a time. Getting enough sleep and eating healthy (darn). And cutting myself a break.

We’ve learned a lot. So we’re bound to forget some of it. If you have some tips for keeping your memory sharp, or how to not be so absent-minded, please share. I could use the suggestions.

Just ask my dog.

“Man needs forgetfulness as well as memory.”

James Stephens

Retiring your way.

04/02/2015 / Laura

Retirement is a lot like graduation. Some people know exactly where they are going and want to accomplish. Others are undecided, or just want to take some time off.

Whatever a person chooses is just fine…after all, it’s their retirement.

I think that’s important to remember. It’s easy to sit on the sidelines and badger someone who’s considering retiring…what are you going to do next? You’re not just going to sit around, are you? Won’t you get bored?

Consider for a moment that this person may not be sure what he or she wants next. After working a lifetime in any profession, it’s natural and healthy to just want to be still long enough to let your mind clear. Let long-hidden dreams or desires come to the surface. See where your instincts lead you.

If a person does choose to immediately fill their time with a second job, volunteer work, or a new project, that’s fine too. But again, it’s a personal choice. I really think our society has somehow made it a sin to acknowledge that we need time to be quiet. To recover.

To let our minds wander without checking our cell phones.

And then there’s the whole misconception about retirement. To me, it’s more of a change of life, a new direction, a rebooting.

It’s not dropping off a cliff.

It’s not a hard stop.

It’s an off-ramp that could lead you to some wonderful, never-before-discovered treasures.

So let the wind take you where it may. On your schedule, when you are ready.

You’ve followed a daily routine for 30+ years. Now you can eat breakfast and read the paper without running out the door.

You’ve fought rush hour traffic, driven in snowstorms, and raced to meetings across town. Now you can go for a walk before lunch.

You’ve run for flights, lost your baggage, endured terrible hotels, and made enough presentations before bored audiences. Now you can decide to drive to a park tomorrow and have lunch.

You’ve missed soccer games, recitals, anniversary dinners, and reunions. Now you control your time.

You’ve postponed reading great books, missed all the latest movies, and never made it up late enough to watch the show on PBS. Now you can take a book outside and read as long as you choose.

You’ve worked for it. You’ve earned it. And now you are ready for what could be the best phase of your life.